All Manner of Things
by fluffy2001
Summary: Surprise! A new chapter! It's a screwball one too. Sequel to Take the Ducklings Bowling and When You Least Expect It. Another off the wall story of fluff and fun. ChaseCameron, ForemanPamela, minor coverage of WilsonCuddy with House as a tagalong.
1. A Long Trip

**a/n: Here it is, the much anticipated sequel to Take the Ducklings Bowling and When You Least Expect It. This is going to start off with a strange trip story that I was supposed to write as part of a chasefic challenge, but it ended up in this universe instead. Once they get back (chapter 5 or 6 I think), there will be plenty of odd stories about the perils of raising toddlers and other stuff. I'm really making all this up as I go along, but I did that with the original and it worked, so I'm going to try it again. **

**If you haven't read the other two, you might have a hard time getting this one. Take the Ducklings Bowling is a must, but When You Least Expect It is especially very long. If you want to skip that one, I'll let you know that Chase and Cameron had twins. There was a also a side story where House got Cuddy pregnant and she and Wilson hooked up as a couple, only to end up raising the child together because House wouldn't. I'm not going to spend much time in this sequel on that pairing/scenario at all. They might show up for a play date here and there. **

**Also, again, a deep apology to those that had an issue with me pulling my preview of this on my LJ site. I honestly almost didn't post this at all, thinking I had gone in a wrong direction. It took a day and much scolding for me to realize that I must run with this as I envisioned. So here it is, good or bad, and I hope you enjoy it. **

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"This is so exciting!" Pamela exclaimed with a high pitch squeal. She clung onto Foreman's left elbow, shaking it with vigorous excitement while looking at the field of clouds outside the small window.

"Yeah," Foreman deadpanned, not sharing her enthusiasm.

"Come on Eric, this is a trip of a lifetime!"

"That's what you said during our last two plane trips."

Pamela was not at all impressed with Mr. Sourpuss. She had a way to fix that. "Your sorry ass needs to lighten up." She waved at the attendant several rows over, who rolled her eyes and came right over. They hadn't been in the air more than an hour and this woman was already running her ragged.

"Can I get you anything?" The stewardess asked them both, a fake smile plastered on her face.

"Just keep the scotch coming honey," Pamela replied, still clutching a half finished one in her hand. "And he needs one too."

"I'm fine. Water please." Foreman said.

Pamela shot Foreman a look of disparagement. He grumbled under his breath and turned back to the stewardess. "Scotch too." The stewardess didn't object, for she also thought he needed something to help him relax. The wives always knew best, even wives that were commanding a bit too much attention.

"You and I have been on some great vacations. Why are you so grumpy about this one?"

"Maybe because it's not a vacation. You're on a leisure trip. I'm presenting at a conference."

"In two days. You show up for a few hours, do your thing, and the rest of the time we get to relax and have fun. Plus I'm working too. I have to shake hands, smile, and tell everyone how great our new premiere diagnostics program is. You don't think that's work?"

"No."

"Come on. Look what your wife did for you. First class all the way to Japan."

Foreman scoffed. "Huh, if you were all that impressive, you would have gotten us a separate flight."

Pamela turned around to see a sleeping House and Wilson. "They're being good."

"For now. You know once House is awake he won't let up on his. 14 hours is a long time to kill."

"Which is why you need to be stinking drunk by then."

The stewardess placed the fresh glass of scotch in front of Foreman. "Keep the scotch coming for the gentlemen behind us too." Pamela instructed with a cheeky smile.

Foreman looked at his watch. This flight was already too long. "What did you bring for entertainment?"

"What, my bright smile and stunning wit isn't enough?" She replied, batting her eyelashes.

Foreman gave her the evil eye and grabbed the magazine in front of him. He instantly put it down in disgust.

"You don't want to know how to improve your love life?" She asked, noticing the picture of the pretty model on the cover. Must be a woman's magazine.

"It's in Japanese."

"You should be trying to learn that, since you're going there and all."

"Oh, so you know Japanese?"

"You know I don't. That's why we have an interpreter."

Foreman huffed, not at all pleased with that plan. "So Chase is your interpreter? He had the equivalent of four years of high school Japanese. Plus he and Cameron aren't coming in from Australia until tomorrow. Seems like you're going to have to wing it until then."

Pamela was appalled by his lack of faith in her. "Robert isn't the only one. Dr. Genius back there knows Japanese too."

"You're going to trust him? We'll end up like Hungarian tourists in a Monty Python sketch. Instead of getting directions to the hotel, he'll have us telling some girl how nice her tits are."

Pamela laughed. "Oh, I'd have to kill him. Anyway, doesn't most of the rest of the world know how to speak English anyway?"

"You better hope the Japanese that do don't have a sick sense of humor."

"Quiet up there, some of us are trying to sleep." House caught the sight a fresh glass of scotch in front of him when his eyelids fluttered. _Hello there! _He knew better than the let the ice melt. It would ruin the drink. Once the first sip slid down his throat, he sighed with intense pleasure. This was going to be the best vacation ever. He leaned forward and raised his head over the seats in front of him.

"Since you thought of me so well Mrs. Foreman, I'll make sure you end up at the hotel instead of a Geisha house."

"Do Geisha houses even exist anymore?" Pamela asked.

House smiled. "Oh they do, especially in the Gion Kobu neighborhood of Kyoto. The tradition there is considered the strongest."

"But we're going to Tokyo."

House winced, realizing he may have accidently given away part of the plan. "Yes, but I was showing off my knowledge." He leaned back and congratulated himself over the nice recovery.

"Yeah, I so needed that history lesson," a still grumpy Foreman muttered.

A loud snort came out of Wilson, who abruptly jerked awake and saw the fresh scotch in front of him. He knew he better not wait too long to drink it. If he let the ice melt, it would ruin the drink. He leaned toward House, talking low. "We're going to the Geisha house, right?"

He and House clanged glasses. "Hell yes."

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Cameron let out another slight huff, the tenth one in the last half hour, and adjusted herself in her seat. She nervously looked out the window, strumming her fingers along the arm rest of the chair. She reached over and smacked Chase on the chest.

Chase flinched and opened his eyes, now officially disturbed. He knew of his wife's anxious mood when they took off, so he put on headphones and reclined his seat for a rest, shutting her out in the process. Until now, it was bliss. "Stop it already. Both of us don't need to be miserable."

"Stop it? Our little girl is sick and I can't check in for the next several hours. How can you relax?"

"She has a low grade fever from a cold. Some ibuprofen will fix her right up. Plus there's nothing you can do about it since we're hovering over the Pacific." Chase closed his eyes again, hoping that would deliver the hint. He questioned the idea of them taking the plane to Japan a day early. It seemed like a good idea at the time, since they had seen all they needed to see in Australia. Maybe if they had waited, he'd have a calmer wife and better peace of mind. "Nah," he told himself, snuggling further into his seat.

"Don't go back to sleep on me," Cameron ordered.

Chase sighed in defeat, moving his airplane seat into the upright position and removing the ears buds from each ear. "What's wrong?"

She could tell from his tone he asked out of obligation rather than concern, but the door was open nonetheless and she was walking through it. "What sort of irresponsible parents are we, leaving our children for two weeks while we gallivant across the globe?"

"Did you really want to spend three days total on a plane with two almost one year olds? Going through customs checks, having to present vaccinations records and all sorts of other documents for a trip that they'd never remember? Besides, after the last year and a half, we've earned a break."

"We abandoned our children."

"We left them with your mother. That's not abandonment."

"And now Emily is sick."

"How many low grade fevers have we had to deal with in the past year? Between the two of them, it's an every other day occurrence. Your mother even told you not to worry."

Cameron scowled and turned away, not feeling at all comforted by empty assurances from her mother.

Chase took her hand. "Allison, look at me."

She turned around, still pouting.

"You can't tell me that our trip to Australia wasn't great. After a year of being nothing but parents, we got to reconnect as a couple. It was just you and me again for a little while. You mean to say you didn't enjoy that?"

Cameron smiled, letting her defenses down slightly. "I did love Australia. I can't believe you never took me there before now. It's such a beautiful place."

"Our trip got postponed because of that whole new job and accidently getting pregnant thing."

"Yeah, damn that real life." She took his hand, appreciating that at least he was trying with her. "How about you? How did it feel coming home after all those years? I honestly couldn't tell."

"It was good."

She wasn't convinced. "Just good?"

He knew he couldn't fool her. "It felt weird. I enjoyed seeing some of the same old places, but that saying is true, you can't go home again. It didn't feel right."

"Well I loved seeing it. Melbourne was nice, but Sydney was incredible. Thanks for finally taking me." She leaned in and gave him a soft, appreciative kiss. "Why do we have to go to Japan though? I'm feeling homesick."

"Conference, remember? The whole reason why we planned this trip in the first place? We have to do a presentation in a few days."

"You mean Foreman. You're just there for eye candy."

"It's a free trip to Japan. You can't turn that down."

"Some free trip. Everyone else got to ride first class."

"By flying coach, we had our tickets paid for to Australia. That's a fair deal."

Cameron shrugged, frustrated over not being able to stretch her legs in her cramped seat. "You know, until we get there, Foreman and Pamela will have to rely on House to get around."

Chase laughed. "I know. I hope they like the Geisha house."

"You actually think House is that cruel?"

She noticed Chase's incredulous stare. "What am I saying? Of course he is."

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Foreman jerked awake, feeling the stiffness in his back. That wasn't what was annoying him the most though. It was the loud snoring coming from the passenger next to him. The one that got herself so drunk halfway into the flight she passed out. Yeah, this vacation was going great so far. He nudged Pamela with an elbow. "Sleeping beauty. If I wanted to hear an engine like that I would have asked for a seat by the wing."

Pamela sluggishly cracked her eyes open, turned herself onto her side, and went back to sleep. "Jerk."

"Bitch." Foreman shot back. She ignored him, already back asleep.

For some reason Foreman felt Wilson's appalled eyes burning in the back of his head. He turned around, giving Wilson a nervous smile. "That's just our pet names for each other."

"Thanks why I got divorced three times," Wilson said. "Once the pet names evolved to cunt and dick, we were done."

"That's why he refuses to marry a fourth time, choosing to raise a son out of wedlock instead." House said.

Wilson stuttered, going into his usual tizzy whenever House opened his mouth inappropriately. "I'm raising your son because you're too much of an ass to do it. You even have him calling you Uncle Greg. I've already prepaid for the therapy bills when he finds out the truth."

House smiled. "I see you need more scotch." He raised his glass to the stewardess, who reached in her pocket and dropped two more small bottles in front of them. If enough scotch kept loud mouthed lady quiet, there was hope for these two.

"How's the little brat anyway?" House asked, pouring out the contents of his bottle, fixated over the way the scotch filtered through the ice.

"Fine. If you'd stop by more often, you might notice."

"You and Cuddy shacked up with a kid? It always feels a little awkward when I'm there."

"That's why Lisa was all for this trip. She was hoping you and I would reconnect."

"You sure it wasn't because she's growing tired of you and wanted you out?"

Wilson gave him a sour look in offense, but it quickly turned. "Yeah, that's probably it."

House took another drink and smiled. "No worries tomodachi. I have a grand adventure planned."

Wilson didn't know whether to be excited or scared. Knowing House, it was the latter. He said nothing, instead pouring another drink.

Foreman turned to Wilson. "I say we go the back, grab a couple of parachutes and bail out while we still can."

That was the best idea Wilson had heard all day.

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"Allison, wake up." Chase couldn't believe she was still sound asleep. She had slept through all the turbulence they had for the last hour, the long circling around the airport and even passengers getting up and gathering their things. They were one of the last ones left in their section.

"Are we here?"

"Yep. Yokoso."

"Yo what?"

"It means welcome."

'You're going to be showing off like that the whole trip, aren't you?"

Chase smiled and got up to pull their bags out of the overhead compartment. "You learned some Japanese words. Which ones do you remember?"

"Konnichiwha."

"That's a good one. Since that means hello, you'll be using that a bit. What else?"

Cameron bit her lip, trying to think of something else. "Domo arigato?"

"Mr. Roboto. You have no idea what that means, do you?"

"Nope, not a clue."

Chase slung the bags across his shoulders and held out his hand to Cameron. "Come on, we need to fetch our well traveled luggage and navigate our way to the hotel. I guarantee that will be an adventure."

Cameron took his hand and stood up. "I'm calling my mother first."

"It's two am there. Give her a break."

Cameron had her cell phone whipped out and dialing before he finished his comment. She walked right by the ebullient flight attendant without notice, leaving Chase to acknowledge the earnest greeting into her homeland.

"Mom, it's me. Yes I know-" Cameron's jaw dropped in disbelief. "She hung up on me! I'm trying her again."

"Great," Chase said, rolling his eyes while Cameron dialed again. "She'll never babysit for us again."

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"House, why have we been in this cab for seventy-five minutes?" Pamela accepted that the Narita International Airport was far out from Central Tokyo, but she didn't think a hotel by an airport would be this far.

"I told him to take the scenic route. You want to get a great view of the city, don't you?"

"I want to get my ass in a bed. We've been traveling for over twenty-four hours now. I stink." Pamela took a whiff of Foreman's shoulder. "He's worse."

"Relax, it won't be much longer."

Consider she was at his mercy, she sat back and took in the surrounding atmosphere. What she was seeing was certainly an experience. She repeated to herself _I'm on vacation, I'm on vacation. Oh screw that shit. _She started rifling through her purse for her sunglasses.

"Wanna bet they can see all this neon in space?" She asked Foreman, wincing from the bright lights until she found her shades. "How can this country afford the electric bill?"

"By being the largest metropolitan economy in the world."

"Well look who's been reading his wiki pages."

Foreman gave her a tired sigh and joined her in city watching. "I think I'm going to have a seizure," Foreman replied. The flashing lights bothered him the most.

"He must be color blind." Pamela pointed to Wilson, who was looking out the window in wide-eyed wonder, not unlike a kid going to Six Flags for the first time.

Once their eyes adjusted to the lights, the other three fix their attention to House, who was having a fast paced conversation with the cab driver, completely befuddling the others as to what was being said. House winked after sharing something, and the cab driver busted out laughing.

"He probably told him a dirty joke," Wilson said. "I've heard them all."

"Judging by the reaction, I would say it's funnier in Japanese," Pamela replied.

The cab didn't move very far. They sat in traffic, apparently in evening rush hour, although they suspected in this city every minute of the day was rush hour. "We could have walked faster," Foreman said.

"And miss all this?" Pamela said, still watching House and the cab driver carry on like they were old war buddies.

"We are getting charged by the minute here, not by the mile." Foreman pointed out.

"Why are you worried Mr. I'll-just-submit-an-expense-report-to-the-hospital?"

"See that amount on the meter?"

"That's in yen. How bad can it be in dollars?"

Foreman leaned over and whispered it in her ear.

"What?!?" Pamela exclaimed. "I can't expense that!"

Eventually the cab driver turned the corner and drove into an area that was not anywhere near as busy, and the buildings seemed older than many of the bright colored areas they had seen before. The look overall was more traditional, and its charm couldn't be denied.

"Asakusa," House said, smiling at the sights around him. Before he could give a little history lesson of this district, the cab driver stopped in front of a home. House rattled off something long in Japanese to the driver, got out, and the waved Wilson to follow him. "Okiya."

Wilson nodded and got out without question, leaving a stunned Foreman and Pamela in the cab by themselves, both coming to the full realization that this was not the hotel. They watched House outside the cab, who gave the cab driver a "well-done" pat on the shoulder, and then he and Wilson headed into the house. The driver got back into the cab and started driving.

"Heelton, right?"

"Yes, we are at the Hilton," Pamela confirmed. She had this strange feeling, that there was something more to what was going on. The neighborhood changed again, going back to the bright lights and modern feel. Then finally, almost two hours after getting in the cab, the driver pulled in front of the Hilton.

"Uh, this ain't our hotel." Pamela said.

"Heelton, in spectacuwar Shinjuku." Apparently his English was better than he initially let on.

"We are staying at the Hilton by the airport."

The driver nodded, not at all bothered by the mix up. "That howa half back that way." He pointed from the direction they came. "I take now."

"Screw that." Pamela got out and went for the trunk.

"What are you doing?" Foreman asked, following her in a tizzy.

"They have beds in there! Warm, comfy, fluffy, pillowy beds! We'll find the right room tomorrow, and by much cheaper means than a cab. There's probably a reason why everyone uses trains in this country!" She yanked her bags out of the trunk, and then stepped right into the cab driver.

"I suppose you need me to pay for this ridiculous fare."

The cab driver smiled. "Docta Haus, he say you wich Amewican, a beeg tippa."

"Of course he told you that. Yes, I'm a big tipper." She flung her credit card at him. "Go ahead, take all I have."

Foreman gingerly backed away from her. "I'll go get us a room."

"Great, you do that," Pamela snarked, arms folded and her foot tapping, waiting for the mind-boggling charge to go through. "I can feed an entire African nation for that price," she muttered to herself. The first thing she would do after getting some sleep is plot her evil revenge. After they found the right hotel that is.


	2. Sightseeing and Bad Karoke

**a/n: Sorry for the slow update. I'm a few days late from intended time. Lots more fluffy fun here, with heavy focus on Chase and Cameron. Happy reading!**

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"Why do they hire people so tiny to carry bags?" Cameron couldn't believe what she was seeing when they were taken to their hotel room.

"That girl handled our bags better than any linebacker that I've gotten anywhere else." Chase said, putting away his money clip after he rewarded her with a big tip. "I'd love to know her workout regiment. Especially after handling your bag."

"What's wrong with my bag?"

"Are you kidding me? That steamer trunk carrying your entire wardrobe? The one that gave that poor bloke a hernia back in Brisbane? I'm surprised the airplanes haven't crash from all the weight."

"Ha ha. What did you expect me to wear for two weeks? Some of us didn't learn how to travel light while taking casual family vacations to the Himalayas."

"The Alps."

"Whatever." Cameron looked around the room, quickly realizing there wasn't much to look at. "I know the hospital is springing for this trip, but couldn't they have chipped in for a bigger hotel room."

Chase smiled, figuring this would not be the first time she will experience culture shock in this country. "This is standard hotel room size in Japan. One time when I came here, I got a private bunk and had to use the community bathroom. This is luxury."

Cameron fell back on the bed, deciding she was too tired to start making an issue. She let out a huge yawn. "You think we should call Pamela and Foreman and let them know we came in early?"

Chase joined her on the bed, snaking his hand around her waist and pulling her in tight. "We could have some quality us time and tell them tomorrow."

"We don't even know if they got in okay. For all we know, House took them to the wrong hotel."

Chase nibbled on her ear, attempting to deter her worry. "They're grownups. I'm sure they're fine."

Cameron giggled, enjoying his playful mood. "Stop, not in front of the children. Oh yeah." She planted him a huge kiss, jump starting their little passion play. It was all going well until the _Mexican Hat Dance_ started playing.

"Crap," she said, "I should probably get that."

"Ignore it." He moved his soft kisses down her neck.

"It could be my mother."

"It's five in the morning there. I doubt it."

Cameron slid out from under Chase and went for her phone, causing him to plant his face on the soft mattress in frustration. "Pamela?"

Chase heard the loud shouting coming from the other end. He didn't know what was going on, but guessing from the general tone, and his wife's winces, House dumped them somewhere.

"Yes, we came in a day early. We're at the hotel. Where are you?"

Chase snickered over the loud and frantic response, especially when Cameron moved the phone a safe distance away from her ear. He was surprised by what he heard. "Did she say Shinjuku? Give me the phone." He took the phone from a very willing Cameron.

"Pamela?" Chase moved the phone away from his ear in similar fashion when he got the same screeching Cameron got earlier. "Calm down. You're in a good part of town. It's really far away, but it's nice."

He pulled the phone away again, waiting until the next loud rant was over. "Since you're set for the night, we'll come get you tomorrow morning, how about that?" Chase said.

The response was calmer on the other end. "By train," Chase clarified. He chuckled. "Oh, you don't want to take a cab, that's too expensive." He got another loud outburst and rant, and now Cameron was snickering with him. "Good night Pamela." He closed the phone.

"Oh boy, House really screwed them," he said, laughing too hard. "I hope they packed their sunglasses. The lights in Shinjuku can be pretty daunting to untrained eyes."

Cameron pulled him onto the bed, laughing with him. "You'll have to take me there then. I love light shows."

"The nightlife there is pretty wild too. Their entertainment district is sleazy, chaotic, wild, vibrant, with drunks everywhere."

"Sounds dangerous."

"Actually, it's one of the safest environments I've ever been in. It's quite an experience."

"Is that all you did in your youth? Travel around the world checking out all the sleazy nightlife?"

Chase pondered her question. "Yep, pretty much."

She giggled. "So, is that what you hope to accomplish on this trip? Relive your wild youth?"

Chase rolled on top of her, gazing sweetly into her eyes. "I'd like to think of it as adding a little spice to my married life." He gave her a deep, passionate kiss.

"I'm all for that," she said, offering a long kiss of her own.

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For being part of one of the largest metropolitan areas in the world, Cameron was impressed how fast the express train from the airport to Tokyo could go. If the L train in Chicago went this fast, they'd careen into Lake Michigan. She wiped that disturbing thought from her mind, and went back to enjoying the scenery. "The mixture of old and new here is fascinating."

"The area is so vast it's really not considered one city, but a collection of districts each with their own character that have grown together. If you don't like what you see in one district, a quick ride on the subway to another will fix that. Eventually you'll find what you're looking for."

"Your walking encyclopedia of knowledge is freaking me out."

He smiled, realizing he might be going too far. "Sorry, I jumped into tour guide mode again."

"I don't mind," she said, letting him off the hook. "You're just too freaking adorable like this." Cameron looked out the window, trying to take in more, but realized it was pretty dizzying. "I don't remember you rattling off such brochure worthy material in Australia."

"That's different. That was home. Nothing spectacular there."

"I beg to differ. Maybe it appealed to me more because I actually knew the freaking language, once I got past all the slang that is. You Aussies are weird about that."

"The Brits are worse, and that's where most of it came from."

"I honestly loved every bit of Australia. It must have been hard to leave there."

Chase gave her a small smile, hoping to quietly dismiss any further discussion about the homeland he gladly left behind.

"There's something I'm curious about though. When were at the Royal Botanic gardens in Melbourne, there was a small shrine there. Something really got you emotional. I didn't want to pry at the time, but we've got a moment now. What was that all about?"

"It was a shrine to the tsunami victims. I offered a prayer in the name of Julian of Norwich."

Cameron's look let him know that he needed to explain more.

"She was a mystic in the fourteenth century whose insights into the human condition were way ahead of her time. She fell ill when she was thirty and claimed during that time she received visions about the Passion of Christ and the love of God. She spent the remainder of her life in prayer and offering comfort to those that came to her window."

"What did you pray?"

"You honestly want to know?"

"Humor me."

Chase nodded, figuring it couldn't hurt. "Her most infamous quote. I used to recite it all the time. 'All shall be well, all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.'"

"What does that mean?"

"It declared her unshakable confidence in God's unconditional love. For others, like myself, it offers assurance during troubled times and brings hope."

Cameron felt her heart sink by such a touching sentiment. "I always find the religious stuff a turn off, but when you talk about it, you suck me right in."

Chase shrugged. "Maybe I did miss my calling in life."

"No way. Let's face it, you aren't exactly a choir boy."

He laughed, in full agreement with that statement. He listened to the announcement over the loudspeaker. "We're coming into Shinjuku station. Prepare to be wowed."

---------------------------------------------

Cameron stood on the corner, jaw hung open, feeling swarmed by the bustle and pace of the city, not to mention the feeling that she was packed in like a sardine. There were so many people, all moving so quickly, she was surprised they could move at all. She'd been to Manhattan before, and even that wasn't quite like this.

"It's quite mind boggling, isn't it?" Chase asked, managing to squeeze in next to her.

"I'll say."

"Around three million passengers travel through this rail station per day. It's the busiest in the world."

"No wonder the claustrophobia kicked in. That's insane." Cameron looked around. "Did you figure out where we're going?"

Chase pointed forward. "Two blocks that way."

They began walking, Cameron's eyes wandering aimlessly. "Look at all the stores. Maybe we can get in some shopping?"

"It figures with all the sites to see here you'd go straight for the shopping."

"How about getting a girl kimono and boy kimono for Emily and Ethan? Oh, wouldn't that be darling?"

"Oh yeah, that will create plenty of blackmail photos for when they're teenagers. You've already bought every possible artifact from Australia for them. We're going to need to buy another suitcase just for all their stuff."

"It's my guilt offering for abandoning them for two weeks."

Chase didn't want to argue that it wasn't abandonment, and she wasn't being rational. He knew he'd lose.

"We'll have to see what Pamela and Foreman are up to," Cameron said. "I'm also hoping to get in some sightseeing. I'm dying to hear the story about how they ended up here."

"Oh yeah, I'm so looking forward to that." Chase said sarcastically. He didn't think they should be complaining, because they did end up in a far more interesting area.

Within five minutes, their destination was found. "Here it is, the Hilton. Prepare yourself."

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"Whoa, is that Mount Fuji?" Pamela didn't expect to see that through all the tall buildings surrounding them.

"From what that says, it has to be a pretty clear day to see that. We must be lucky." Cameron stood behind her, reading the observation deck info. She was impressed that they had a section in English.

"What's this place called again?"

"The Tokyo Tocho," Cameron replied, certain she didn't pronounce it right. "This is the 45th floor."

"That's all? How many floors are in the Sears tower?"

"The observation deck is on the 103rd floor I think. I've never been."

"You're from Chicago and have never been up the Sears tower?"

"I don't care for heights."

Pamela shook her head. "That's sick and wrong. Look what you're missing here."

"I'd rather not."

Pamela stared in awe at the amazing landscape from above. The area did have quite a character of its own. Not that she'd ever want to live here, but it was a nice place to visit. Nicer than Newark.

"I'm glad you decided to take in a day of sightseeing," Cameron said.

"I was so mad last night, I ordered some sake and in room spa services. About an hour into it, I realized I was on vacation."

"You're here for a conference. You know, the one that starts tomorrow."

"A two day diversion from my Far East excursion. I guess that's the price one pays for being an executive." Pamela's visual spectacle was interrupted by her cell phone. She looked at the caller and frowned, opening her phone with huge reluctance. "Jerry?"

That frown quickly turned to sheer panic. "You're where? When did you decide…I'm in Shinjuku…Yes, it's quite interesting…Oh, you don't have to…fine, in two hours."

"What was that all about?" Cameron asked, intrigued by Pamela's changing expression from surprise, to irritation, to defeat.

"Jerry Anderson is here, at the Narita airport. He's decided to attend the conference after all. He's meeting us in two hours at Shinjuku station and will be joining us for some sightseeing."

Cameron couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, it'll be fun. Maybe we'll finally get to see the light and fun side of Jerry."

Pamela's scowl disagreed. "I've worked for the man for over a year now. There's no such side."

Chase and Foreman both approached, sensing something was not quite right. Pamela was a pretty easy read. "So what's up?" Foreman asked.

Cameron snickered. "Jerry Anderson is joining us in a couple of hours."

"Not a problem," Chase said. "There's plenty of ways to entertain him here."

Pamela pushed her way past everyone and headed for the deck exit. "Come on, we need to cram in some more fun before he gets here."

----------------------------------------

Nothing seemed to work. The Imperial Gardens were boring, and Jerry had no interest in the observation deck of the Tokyo Tocho, or any of the other shrines and temples in the area. He didn't even want to go shopping.

Pamela pulled Foreman and Chase aside in deep frustration. "Here's the drill. Allison and I are going shopping. You two are taking Jerry to some titty bar and getting him drunk and laid."

"The Kabukicho isn't far from here. That can be done," Chase said.

"Good!" She turned to Foreman. "Make sure those whores for hire see your wedding ring."

"Yes dear, I'll only watch, not partake."

Pamela didn't bother with a response, quickly charging off, grabbing Cameron's arm in tow.

Foreman watched his wife's prompt retreat, and shook his head. "And I thought I was the one going to be stressed out on this trip. So what is this kabikookoo anyway?"

"Kabukicho. You'll find out soon enough."

Jerry approached the two men, looking at his watch. "She survived two whole hours before stressing out in front of me. That's a new record. I didn't think she'd hold out long enough though before I made a break for the hostess bar."

"That does sound like a great place to start. How good is your karaoke?" Chase asked.

"Awful," Jerry replied.

"Good, you'll fit right in then. Shall we?"

-------------------------------------------------------------

"What the hell is he singing?" Foreman asked Chase.

"Endless Love I think," Chase replied, enjoying the freak show too much to care.

"Isn't that song a duet?"

"Why do you think he's singing part of it in falsetto? Apparently he wants to be both Lionel Ritchie and Diana Ross."

All three men watched the brave and very drunk Japanese man tackle easily one of the worst songs ever written. About halfway through Foreman got into it. "I actually like it better than the original. The man is declaring an endless love for himself. I get it."

Jerry leafed through the song selections. He wrote out something on a small slip of paper and handed it to one of the hostesses.

"You're not-" Foreman asked.

"Yep," Jerry replied. "How about another round before my turn comes up. Next one's on me."

Chase wanted mention that all the rounds had been on Jerry so far, but stopped himself, not wanting a good thing to end. He looked around the busy room, watching all the male clientele be entertained well by their hostesses. He definitely couldn't have brought Allison in there, since her moral outrage over all this would have been too much of a downer.

He spotted a crowd of people in the corner all amused over someone sharing some wild stories in Japanese. He couldn't believe his eyes when a woman stepped aside, showing the instigator that was entertaining everyone. "House?"

Foreman instantly threw his eyes in that direction. "Yep, and he has everyone eating out of his hands. Where's Wilson?"

"I think he's that slumping figure in the corner."

Foreman examined further, accepting that Chase was likely right. "That Japanese chick seems to be taking good care of him."

"_Why do you drink, and why do you roll smoke, why must you live out the songs that you wrote…" _Chase and Foreman's attention shifted back to the karaoke stage, both breaking into laughter over hearing Jerry try to tackle Hank Williams Jr. "He's not half bad," Chase said.

"You gonna give it a try?" Foreman asked.

"Nah, I wouldn't please this crowd. I actually sing well."

Foreman grinned, realizing Chase had just opened a door. "How about I pick a song and fifty bucks says that you'll butcher it."

"No." Chase said, watching Foreman's glare accusing him of being a chicken. "Fine, you're on."

Foreman went through the list, and instantly found the perfect one. He giggled profusely while writing down the song title on the sheet and summoning the hostess. He handed her the paper and pointed to Chase.

"Aren't you going to tell me what you picked first?"

"That would ruin all the fun," Foreman said.

Jerry returned to his seat after his less than rousing rendition of _Family Tradition_. Foreman whispered something into his ear, and then Jerry looked at Chase and started laughing.

"I think we're going to need another round for that one."

No sooner than the drinks were delivered, the hostess approached the table. "Your turn Dr. Chase."

"What? There were plenty of others ahead of me."

"They were told what you were singing and happily deferred their turn."

Chase reached over, picked up Jerry's whiskey and slammed it down his throat. "Double or nothing," he told Foreman, standing up, ready to perform.

"Done," Foreman replied.

Both Foreman and Jerry watched as Chase went up to the stage and was told of his selection. They fell over each other from snickering when they saw Chase go into a small tizzy before burying his face in his hands. Once his head emerged, his face was bright red.

Chase took in a breath, straightened up his collar while the opening bars of the music played, and decided to suck it up. He chose for artistic effect to let the Australian accent slip through. "_Oh baby baby, how was I supposed to know, that something wasn't right here, oh baby baby, I shouldn't have let you go, and now you're out of sight yeah…"_

Foreman fell out of his chair, rolling with laughter, tears in his eyes. He turned to find Jerry slumped on the table, pounding his fist, trying to control himself. "He'd look cute in pigtails and a schoolgirl uniform, don't you think?" Jerry managed to ask while giggling abundantly.

"_Hit me baby one more time_!" That sent Foreman into another burst of hysteria, him clutching his sides because they were hurting too badly.

"Come on, let's sing along!" Jerry said, standing up and challenging Foreman to do the same.

"_My loneliness is killin me  
I must confess I still believe  
When I'm not with you I lose my mind  
Give me a sign, hit me baby one more time!"_

Both men swayed together, arms stretched on each other's shoulder, singing at the tops of their lungs in between the outbursts of laughter. They didn't even notice that Chase's rendition of the horrible song went a little dark side, his delivery emoting an obsessed Australian psycho rather than a pop princess. He actually by the end managed to win the crowd over.

When it was all over, Chase took his bows from the loud applause in the room and went back to his table. He looked at Foreman with a 'take that' attitude, but Foreman was back on his knees rolling from laughter. Foreman fumbled for his wallet and handed Chase one hundred bucks. "That was worth every penny," he cackled.

The waitress came over with a round of drinks for everyone. "He pay for it." She pointed over to House, who along with everyone else at the table was giving Chase a nice mock standing ovation. Chase waved back with a cheesy smile plastered on his face.

"Good thing Allison wasn't around to see this," Chase said.

Jerry pulled out his cell phone, showing off his video files list. "Oh, she'll be seeing every bit of it."


	3. The Conference

Chase shrugged when he and Foreman shared glances, both trying to make sense of the sight in front of them. In the distance Cameron and Pamela stood the train station waiting area. Pamela's back was turned to them, and she was hanging onto a pole, hunched over. It looked like she was heaving. Cameron stood in front of her, her face obscured, as if she was trying to assist. 

They both rushed over, concerned over what could be happening. Chase reached them first, stepping to their sides where he was able to get a good glimpse. Pamela had tears streaming down her face and couldn't breathe, and Cameron's face was also wet and beet red as well. Then Chase saw the culprit. Pamela had her cell phone in her hand, and they were watching a video. 

"Oh, oh, this is so funny it's killing me!" Pamela said, gasping in between her all out hysterics. The line played, _Hit me baby one more time, _and Pamela knocked herself into further peril, grasping for dear life onto the post to prevent herself from falling to the ground. 

Foreman peeked over her shoulder, and joined in the mayhem. "It's even better here than live," he said, clinging onto his spouse for support. 

Chase threw a glare at his darling wife, who tried to give him a stoic look of support, but couldn't control herself when Pamela played the middle part. _I must confess, that my loneliness, is killin me now…_ "So…dramatic," she managed to get out in between deep breaths and the hiccups from laughter. 

Chase thought that the hundred bucks was definitely not worth it. He always did get the short end of the stick in bets with Foreman. "Very funny," he deadpanned. "We've got a train to catch."

"I don't think I can move," Pamela said, breaking into another fit when the song ended. She composed herself enough to stand up and wipe her face. That was when she noticed the missing person. "So Jerry ran off."

"You'll never guess who we ran into at the hostess bar," Foreman said.

"House and Wilson," Pamela replied. 

"How did you know?"

"Jerry's message along with the videos, which by the way I'll so have to thank him for, he was out to see the rest of the city with some colleagues. I put two and two together. I have to hand it to the man, this was the best gift I've ever gotten."

"Hey, how about some credit for the performing artist?" Chase asked, protesting the misplaced appreciation. 

"Oh, trust me," Cameron said, taking his arm and leading the charge for the train. "We'll never ever forget this."

"I hate conferences." Chase put on the one of two ties he packed for the entire trip. His dress shirt was slightly wrinkled, but he didn't care. His jacket would hide that. 

"Wasn't the conference the whole reason we traveled in the first place?" Cameron asked, moping in the corner, making little effort to prepare herself. 

"What's wrong with you?" Chase asked, noticing her not usual dour face. 

"That intense homesickness is kicking in. I miss our babies."

Chase widened his arms, offering a big hug. "I knew the video conference would be too much to take."

She wandered right into her husband's welcoming arms. "They looked like they'd grown ten feet in the time we'd been gone. We're missing out."

"They looked normal to me. I'll admit though, I really miss them too. The way their faces lit up when they saw us on the screen, it, well, you know." Chase choked back a lump in his throat. 

"I wasn't even bothered when they both said 'dada'. That just made my heart flutter worse."

"'Dada' is always the easiest word to say, and Ethan is just copying Emily since she started it." He held onto Cameron tighter, who was fighting back emotions. "I really need to thank Dr. Cuddy for setting up the call with your mother." 

"Can we please cut our trip a few days short and get home to see them? I can't wait to hold them and give them all the wonderful things we bought for them."

"You sure? It's not like we'll get many opportunities to get out this way."

"We can do a temple tour in one day, but after that, I'm good."

Chase agreed it was worth an investigation. "We'll look into switching our flights, but I'm not making any promises."

"Okay," she sulked, thinking it was better than a yes. 

A knock on the door interrupted them. Chase looked through the peephole of the hotel door. "Uh oh, it's a scowl."

"We're not here," Cameron said in a panic.

"I heard you two! Now let me in!" The voice yelled from the other side. 

"You know, cutting this trip short is a great idea after all," Chase joked, opening the door and letting Pamela in. "Good morn-"

"Oh, don't give me that." Pamela said cutting him off. "Jerry's office packed my schedule full the next couple of days with meetings and presentations and other crap that's anything but me having a good vacation."

"So you and Jerry are going to be all business the next few days?" Cameron asked. 

"No, Jerry is nowhere near this place. He's not the only one gone. House and Wilson aren't here either. None of them are answering their phones."

"You think something happened to them?" Cameron asked. 

"If something you mean they've gone to Kyoto, I'd say no," Pamela said. "His assistant told me he was there for a few days and couldn't be reached. I remember House mentioning it too on the plane, but didn't think anything of it at the time."

"What's in Kyoto?" Cameron didn't understand the reason.

Chase snickered. "A very prominent Geisha district. I really doubt they're going to check out the historic temples in the area."

Cameron all of a sudden got the plan. "They aren't really going to be doing anything with us at all. This was a trick to work in a luxury vacation, wasn't it?"

"It certainly seems that way." Pamela said with a huge frown.

"Hmm," Cameron said sarcastically, "I wonder how they managed to come up with that idea?" 

Pamela didn't like the tone. "Oh shut up, I'm still getting a vacation out of this."

"Where's Foreman?" Cameron realized changing the subject was the best strategy. 

"Sweating bullets over-rehearsing his presentation." She turned to Chase. "Why aren't you preparing or worried?"

"I'm only there to answer questions. I've got my stock answer already planned. 'Leave your business card. We'll research that and get back to you.'"

Pamela shook her head. "I still don't know why Eric thinks he's the smarter one. Anyway, I've got a show to put on today. Should we all head to down together?"

Cameron looked at Chase. "Yeah, I need to get my mind off the twins."

"I'll join you both later," Chase said. "I've got more preparing to do." 

"Yeah, right," Pamela said, opening the door. "Try not to stress yourself out too much." She let Cameron go first and then slammed the door behind her. 

"Oh trust me, I won't." Chase savored the one moment of peace, sat down in the chair and opened his wallet, unable to remove his eyes from the beautiful pictures of his children. 

"Are there any questions?" Foreman looked through the sparse crowd, the dead silence the equivalent of crickets chirping. Those that remained were typing into their blackberries, or were stirring after being jolted awake from a refreshing nap. He casually stepped over to Chase. 

"There are people in the crowd that speak English, right?"

Chase eyeballed the mostly white crowd. "Yeah, I believe so."

"Was the presentation that boring?"

Chase shrugged. "Beats me. Maybe you should have livened it up a bit."

"How do you liven up a lecture about how to do guess work when the standard diagnostic process fails?"

"You should have told more jokes," Chase replied, noticing that he didn't exactly win over the crowd.

"I could have done an hour of standup and gotten the same reaction!' An agitated Foreman made sure to keep his voice down, but his body language wasn't sending off promising signals to the group. 

"That's true. You aren't exactly Chris Rock."

"You think you could have done better?"

Chase pondered the notion, and then pointed to the podium. "May I?"

Foreman stepped aside. "By all means. It's all yours."

Chase casually breezed by Foreman and took his place in front of the crowd. He scanned the uninterested audience, and pounded his fist on the podium, getting their attention. 

"Blood alone moves the wheels of history! Have you ever asked yourselves during those rare but quiet moments in your day how long we've been striving for greatness? How this war of ours, this bloody war of medicine, this horrible war for people's lives, made us realize that the world could be conquered? It has been a never ending fight and a lifetime struggle, but we go on as warriors!" 

He stopped for a dramatic pause, before waving his arm and delivering another fist pound into the podium. Half of the audience looked at him like he was mad, the other half were laughing and getting it. All gave him their undivided attention. 

"I ask you all, as doctors who have taken a sacred oath, to rise and be worthy of this historic hour! I say to you, and you will understand, that it is a privilege to heal!"

Some broke into applause during his next break, giving him a chance to prepare in his mind the fine lines of inspiration. After all, he was going off memory. He'd only seen this done once. 

"We must never acquiesce. Together we prevail! We must never concede control of the mother-, er, medical community for it is…"

A few people in the audience knew exactly what to say. "…together that we prevail!" 

Chase backed away from the podium and held up his fist in unity as the audience got on their feet applauded. He basked in the glow for a minute, before he saw a bewildered Foreman approach him out of the corner of his eye. 

"What the hell was that?!" Foreman exclaimed.

"Don't you watch The Office? The best speeches are the ones from history's greatest dictators. The great speakers throughout history weren't joke tellers, they were people of passion."

"You're neither."

Chase shrugged. "I am a pretty good actor though." He waved at the dispersing crowd, shaking the hands of a few of those overcome from laughing too hard. "Thanks," one said, "that was the best conference speech ever. That took some balls."

"My pleasure," Chase replied, smiling as he left. Once the crowd was clear, he looked at his watch. "Our work here is done. Now we can relax the rest of the trip."

"Let's find a bar on the way out," Foreman said, following along. 

"Just have your assistant call my office when you get back to schedule some time." Pamela's face hurt from smiling too much. "I can't wait to meet with you further."

The man eagerly shook her hand and left. Pamela leaned toward Cameron, talking through her gritted teeth. "My office will be crawling with leeches. I'm going to have to hire an exterminator."

"Tackling sales calls is part of the job."

"It's supposed to be Jerry's job too. You know, the one he dumped on me."

"Come on, who had "disguise-a-vacation-as-a-conference" idea first? As a matter of fact, that's why ninety percent of these people are here. They didn't come to Japan for the lectures."

"Speaking of lectures…" Pamela watched Chase and Foreman approach. Chase was getting handshakes as he moved along, while Foreman swallowed the rest of this drink. 

"Dare I ask?" Cameron said to Chase, who wore a self-satisfied smirk.

"Do you know anything about great speeches from famous dictators?"

"Noooo," Cameron said in shocked amusement, "you didn't."

Chase flashed a wicked smile, indicating he did. 

"I knew we shouldn't have watched all those Office DVD's on the plane. They're evil. So, were you a hit?"

"I'm not entirely sure I was a hit, but I did leave an impression."

"That's all you need to do at these things," Pamela said, realizing she was going to have to get that tape from the conference runners ASAP. "No one is going to remember what a great doctor you are, they're going to remember the stunts you pull. How do you think House has a reputation?"

"I'm not exactly sure that was why I did it, but that's a reason that makes sense," Chase replied.

"I'm going to have to get a few copies of those speeches myself. It will at least help me fend off the leeches." Pamela's train of though was interrupted by an announcement on the speaker.

"Free lunch time. Smiles everyone!" She led the charge, dragging Foreman behind her. Cameron grabbed Chase's arm, stopping him for a private conversation before they followed. "First Britney Spears and now Benito Mussolini? What's gotten into you this trip?"

"Can't I have fun?"

"Your idea of fun is a beer and a good soccer game."

"I think being in this part of the world has rekindled the spirit of an adventurous young man that once visited here years ago."

"So this is nothing more than reliving your reckless past?"

"Yep, I think so." 

She grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the ballroom. "If that's the case, I'm never taking you anywhere again." 

Pamela rushed over to the table, waving some passes in her hand, her entire body giddy with delight. "Guess what I got? My schmoozing got us four free passes to a resort/spa an hour from here for a day and night of sheer luxury."

"How'd you manage to do that?" Cameron asked. 

"This doesn't involve a time share presentation, does it?" Foreman asked, very suspicious of this great offer. 

"Nope. I just have to give him an hour timeslot to pitch his electronic medical chart archiving services."

"Are you allowed to accept gifts like that from potential vendors?" Foreman asked.

"I ain't the freaking government. I can be bought, and it's legal. Anyway, we're going the day after tomorrow."

Cameron and Chase both shared a worried glance. 

"What?" Pamela asked, instantly catching their faces.

"We were going to go home that day," Cameron said.

"You're bailing on us?"

"Just a few days early. I really want to see the kids."

"It's not a problem," Chase said. "I haven't officially changed the flight yet. We'll just bump up our plans one day. It should be fun." 

Cameron didn't like the idea. One day would be an eternity. 

Chase saw Pamela's pleading face cutting right through him, and knew he had to sweeten the deal. "Come on, it's a spa. I'll pay for any extra services you want. It's just one day."

Cameron lowered her eyes, glimpsing at him with her waifish pout. "Can I get a mud bath?"

"Honey, if authentic Japanese mud makes you happy, waddle in it like a pig for all I care," Pamela said, not even bothering to wait for Chase to answer. 

"Okay, fine," Cameron said, relenting. 

Foreman sat in silence, heavily pondering all he heard. Pamela rolled her eyes, wondering what now. "What's up with you?"

Foreman cowered, and then sheepishly spoke. "I like mud baths too."


	4. Onsen Ryokan

**a/n: This chapter and the entire rest of this fic is dedicated to three people who have all let me know how much they wish this fic to go on. First to blackend, who on no uncertain terms gave me the swift kick in the butt I needed to keep going (the effort was most appreciated.) To quack675, who has been wonderful and patient and encouraging me to go on writing this fic despite the many obstacles I have in my life right now. Finally to aenisses thai, who has been my cheerleader despite my growing disillusionment with the House fandom and the show. There are still Chasers out there, and I need to be true to his character. **

**Anyway, I apologize for the break I took. I still don't have time to write fics right now, but I will finish this one and give regular updates (every five to seven days). I owe it everyone that has supported me thus far. I'll try not to be a perfectionist, have fun, and most of all, deliver something you want to read. Thanks everyone for reading! **

"Ons what??" Pamela had no clue what Chase was saying. 

"Onsen. It's a Japanese outdoor hot springs."

"I like the sound of that." Pamela was captivated by the Japanese countryside, gazing from the bullet train window. They ran through one non-descript neighborhood after another for a while, so the view was finally getting her attention. "Then what's a ryokan?"

"An inn. The place we're going to just happens to be an onsen ryokan." 

Pamela fished out the brochure from her purse. She wanted to read those inviting words again. 'Dash through the winter cold and sink into our steaming rotenburo. Sip sake while the snow falls on the mountain and river landscape all around you.' I get chills of excitement just thinking about it."

"It's not winter. I don't think snow will be part of the ambiance," Chase replied. 

"Mountains and rivers do exist year round, right?"

Chase laughed. "Yes I believe they do."

"Then I'm good." Pamela's look turned a bit sour when she examined the pictures further. "There are all women in this pool, and they're naked."

"Yep, most of these places don't allow swimsuits. Only the birthday suit. Most baths are same sex only too."

Pamela's jaw was too busy hanging open. Even Cameron perked a little at the news, wanting to hear more about these customs. Foreman tuned out of the conversation and picked up a magazine, only to be disgusted that it was in Japanese again.

"They have strict rules in these places you know," Chase said, continuing with more info since eyes were upon him. "The Japanese are very particular about personal hygiene. In the main bathing area there are open shower stalls with a mirror, a seat, soap and shampoo. The Japanese spend a good deal of time scrubbing down and rinsing before their bath, and expect foreigners to do the same. Once you're all cleaned up, you can go in." 

Pamela closed her previously unhinged jaw, and tried to smile. "Sounds great, except for the being naked in front of everyone part."

Chase shrugged. "That's an American hang up. That Japanese don't seem to mind."

"Uh, American here. I seem to mind!" Pamela said. 

"The weather's great. An outdoor bath with the backdrop of the mountains would be inspiring. In some of these places, wild animals will appear around the rotenburo."

Pamela and Cameron both gave Chase skeptical glares. "You made that up," Cameron said.

"You'll find out on your own," Chase said. 

Pamela still seemed uneasy. "As long as people are looking at the backdrop and not my ta-ta's, I'll try it."

Cameron laughed. "That's the spirit. After all, when in Rome…"

Chase snickered along with her. Pamela's distress was always too fun. "Pamela, when you got tickets to a Japanese spa, you really had no idea what the onsen ryokan really was, did you?"

"I guess that's Japanese for nudist colony."

That caused Chase and Cameron to both bust out in laughter. "I can assure you no one stares at each other." Chase said in between gasps for breath.

"If anything, you've got more to offer than those tiny Japanese women," Cameron said, trying to calm herself down as well. 

"You mean like an African bush woman, right?" 

Chase and Cameron went into gut wrenching laughter this time, both hanging onto one another for support. They both tried to control themselves, looked at Pamela, and broke down again when that visual appeared in their heads again. 

"Easy for both you and your underwear model bodies to say." Pamela said after giving them ample time to be amused at her expense. She turned to Foreman, not buying that he wasn't listening to any of this. "Why aren't you saying anything Eric?"

"Because I have no intention of bathing. Have a great time without me."

Pamela bit her lip, choosing to avoid spewing her several choice words for her husband in front of a crowded train. She'd save it for the hotel, er, ryokan. 

Chase looked at the brochure. "What's great about the place we're staying is their food is considered the best for regional delicacies."

"Regional delicacies. Tell me it isn't cat or monkey brains," Foreman said without lifting his eyes out of the magazine. Pamela wanted to slap him, but it proved her point he was listening. The others ignored him. 

Chase noticed the train slowing. "We should be coming into Hakone Yumoto soon. Everyone ready for their unique cultural experience?" 

Pamela and Cameron both turned to Foreman for a smart answer, only to see him wisely stay quiet. They moved their eyes back to Chase and smiled enthusiastically. 

"Do these mountains seem mystical to you?" Cameron asked Pamela, gazing at the wonderful tones of colors that the afternoon sky bounced off the river valley. 

Pamela took a long gaze. She was too busy letting the warm mineral spring water engulf her to let her mind wander. "They look like normal mountains to me." 

Cameron leaned back, taking in more of her elation. She didn't think she could feel more perfect. The water and the landscape were both invigorating. "It's like the hills are speaking to me."

"Speaking huh? As long as they're not telling you you've got a big butt, I'm sure it's okay." 

Cameron smiled, looking around at the almost empty area. "I'm thrilled we came up here on a weekday. Isn't it nice that we practically have the place to ourselves?"

"It's certainly making this whole naked thing seem less strange, but I've got to admit, I've adjusted. It ain't so bad."

Cameron took in another deep breath of intense relaxation, wondering how she missed out on this her entire life. "The atmosphere is amazing. It must be the springs and the pagodas all around. Look at the detail they've put into the gardens around here. I'm sure if Robert was here he could tell us what each bush and tree was and what significance it has to the overall scheme of things instead of saying it was pretty."

Pamela scoffed. "At least Robert is enjoying his visit."

Cameron frowned, noticing Pamela's bitter tone. "Is there something you want to talk about?"

"I don't get it Allison," Pamela said before letting out a deep sigh. "Eric has seemed so sour these days. It started happening even before the trip, but I chalked it up to the pressures of the practice."

Cameron nodded. "It's been hard on him and Robert ever since business started taking off. I know Robert came home many nights deflated that he missed the chance to kiss the twins goodnight. Robert seems to be managing his off time well though. He isn't bringing work with him."

"I'm not sure Eric is capable of that. I'm sure he's been spending the entire trip going through cases in his head, reading up on new studies, trying to find ways to make the business better…it's just driving me crazy." 

"He's always been very dedicated. You just need to keep nudging him in the right direction and teaching him how to relax."

"Yeah, well lately those nudges have been resulting in some nice explosive arguments. I keep telling myself arguments are good for marriages and we're working it out." 

"You're being patient with him. That's the best thing to do right now."

"I don't know how much longer I can keep it up." Pamela took in a deep long breath, and shook off her sorrow. "Enough about that. We are in a spectacular part of the world naked in a giant pool. Let's have some more sake and gossip about the hospital."

Chase actually didn't mind the alone time. He needed a break after the last ten days. He has enjoyed his vacation, but traveling between three continents was exhausting. He didn't mind the idea of cutting it a few days short and getting back to the kids. He didn't even mind the idea of going back to work, even though it was pushing him close to the edge when he left. 

He leaned backward, determined to enjoy all this while he could. The water did feel great and he'd forgotten how soothing these baths were. He smiled while thinking back to his young days when he could travel to places like this on a whim. Even though he couldn't do that anymore, he'd never been happier and it was well worth the sacrifice. 

After a few minutes, his thoughts kept wandering back to home. He had hoped once House had hired his new team, everything would get easier. Instead, Jerry's grand vision of expanding diagnostics ended up being a little too successful. It was too appealing for many to deal with House's experienced protégés instead of House himself. The referrals exploded, and client satisfaction surveys for their practice were among the highest. Meanwhile, before leaving he watched Taub, Thirteen, and Kutner playing cards while bored in the cafeteria. He so wished for those days back. 

"Hotto hotto!" Chase heard across the rotenburo, along with the outburst of laughter from a small group of people. He looked up, and couldn't believe what he saw. "House?"

House looked at Chase and rolled his eyes. "I thought you told me this was a good establishment," House said to a man next to him. "You're letting Aussies in here?" 

The man shrugged. "He bring money, I happy." 

House waved over to Chase. "Come on kangaroo with the washboard abs, I guess your kind is welcome."

Chase reluctantly made his way over to the group. Might as well be sociable, otherwise House will taunt him from afar. This way he can just taunt up close. He wasn't at all shocked to see Wilson and Jerry along with a couple of Japanese men. 

"It's nice to get away from those bitching women, isn't it?" House said, noticing that Chase didn't seem too distressed being alone. 

"So where have you been?" Chase said. "I seem to recall your presence was required at a conference."

"I was there," House said. "We all were. We were in the hotel bar talking with prospective clients."

"They were geeks from Munich there for an IT conference," Wilson clarified. "I don't know German very well, but I don't remember their word for medicine being brought up when you talked to them in their native language." 

"Sure, I mentioned it many times. It was the word 'die'." 

The Japanese men laughed. Apparently they knew their basic German. 

"I heard your speech brought the House down," House said to Chase, slamming another shot of sake. 

Chase noticed the scrutinizing look from Jerry, "About that…"

"Don't sweat it kid," Jerry said. "It was the only speech talked about, so we made an impression. I usually don't care what type. So I'm assuming my subordinate had the same business savvy I did to score a free night at this place."

"Yep, she's in the women's area right now with Allison."

"I knew I hired her for a reason," Jerry said with a smile of pride. "Tell her by the way that the chart archiving service is a piece of crap."

"I think she figured that out the second she met the guy but took the passes anyway," Chase said. Jerry's smile of pride grew wider. 

"Where's Foreman?" House asked. "Oh yeah, stick up his ass, I forgot." 

One of the men spoke to House in Japanese. House nodded. "I guess its dinner time. They've got quite a spread planned for us." 

"Come join us," Jerry said to Chase, knowing House wasn't one to extend such invitations. 

"Why not," Chase replied. "I'm going to enjoy a few more minutes here, and then we'll catch up with you in about an hour."

"Great!" House said, standing up and exposing all. Chase swiftly covered his eyes before House was above water, sparing himself from a troubling sight. He turned away and headed to the other side of the bath, waving from behind. He'd seen enough horrors in his life, he didn't need more. 

House wrapped a towel around himself and was helped out by one of the staff. "A doctor who can't stand seeing naked people. How warped is that? Thanks for not making this awkward Robert."

"My pleasure House," Chase said with another wave, eyes still turned away. 

Pamela and Cameron were in Cameron's room waiting for Chase. They were wearing thin cotton robes courtesy of the inn, and were stretched out on futons.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to move again," Cameron said, sinking further into the comfortable and soft mattress.

"Can't talk, melting," Pamela said, in a world all her own. 

Chase entered the room, not at all surprised to see the ladies relaxing. He was wearing his own robe, which came above his knees, causing Cameron's jaw to drop. 

"It seems we've been invited to dinner," Chase said. "You'll never guess who I ran into." 

"The three amigos," Pamela said, finding nothing shocking about those three anymore. She slowly rolled herself off the futon, letting a few curse words slip in the process. "I should get back to my cranky spouse and get dressed now. We'll see you in the dining room."

Chase gave Pamela a polite goodbye, but Cameron didn't even notice her leave. Her eyes were too fixed on something else. "What is it?" Chase asked, noticing her leer burning through him.

"We need to take that robe home." Before he knew it, she grabbed him by the sash and yanked him onto the futon. She was all over him in no time, both proving to each other how easily those robes could be removed. 

"So you're leaving tomorrow?" Wilson asked Cameron. He noticed the relaxed look on her face. They were all relaxed, but her and Chase especially seemed loose. He smiled at the thought, remembering those times in his life, wishing he had them again. 

"Yeah, we really want to see the kids. Plus, there's no more room in our suitcase for me to buy them anything else." Cameron looked at the carefully prepared sushi in front of her. She flinched, but was willing to try anything once. 

"I know, I miss Michael," Wilson said. "I spoke with Lisa yesterday. I think he misses me." 

Cameron smiled at the sentiment. "We'll have to arrange a play date when you get back."

"You need to check in on my staff," House said to Chase. "I think they've been having too much fun while we've been gone. Put them to work."

"Oh yeah, they'll listen to me," Chase said sarcastically. "Thanks to you, they think I'm nothing more than a talking Koala." 

House noticed Foreman not joining in on any this. "Yo, homey, you just going to let Chase go back and run that tornado of an office on his own?"

"No, I'm not," Foreman replied. "I'm going back with them."

Everyone at the table froze, noticing Pamela's stunned expression, which revealed this was news to her. 

"Uh oh," House said inappropriately. "Someone forgot to tell the wife. And everyone says I'm the insensitive one." 

"Eric," Pamela said out of the corner of her mouth with teeth clenched, "we can discuss this later." 

"I think there's no time like the present," he said, getting her up and nudging her toward the lobby. 

"Excuse us," Pamela said with a big fake smile. Chase and Cameron both looked at her with uncomfortable smiles, giving her encouragement, but knowing this wasn't good. 

"What gives Eric?" Pamela exclaimed as soon as they were out of earshot.

Foreman knew any reaction would be extreme, so he kept a safe distance and watched for curling fists. 

"This is one of the best trips I've had in my life," she continued. "Don't you want to share it with me? We can have a nice few days, just us." 

"We get lots of you and me time at home. I'd like to get back to work."

"What's a few more days? You going to explode before then?"

"Chase and Cameron are going back," Foreman said defiantly. "I don't see you giving them grief."

"That's the best you can come up with? You know they were in Australia for a week before us and have kids to go home to. We don't even have a dog!"

Foreman didn't back down. "I'm going back."

Pamela moved closer to him, even more defiant. "I'm not."

"Fine with me," he replied without flinching. "Stay here and enjoy the rest of your vacation. I'm going to pack now." Foreman walked away.

"Fine!" Pamela said as he was leaving. "I don't need you to have fun. Make sure you're in one of our guest rooms when I get back."

"Done." Foreman turned toward the elevator area, leaving a stunned Pamela behind to pull herself together before going back to dinner. 

"Is everything okay?" Cameron asked when a composed but shaken Pamela came back. 

"Just fine," she said. "Eric won't be joining us for dinner after all." 

The waiter came to the table. "Does anyone need anything?"

"Crown Royal straight, make it a double," Pamela said without hesitation. 


	5. Coming home

**a/n: Thanks everyone for all your show of support. As promised, a regular update. I'll shoot for every Friday. Enjoy the family reunion!**

Cameron told herself she wasn't going to lose it. She lied.

"I missed you two so much!" She hugged her babies, who both looked like they had grown a foot while she was gone, and she cried, holding onto them for dear life and pledging to never let go.

"Dada!" Ethan said with a huge smile, seeing the same happy look on his dad's face. He squirmed out of his mother's hold, and stepped clumsily forward two steps, falling into his Chase's arms.

Chase lifted him up and gave him a huge bear hug, swinging him back and forth, prompting giggles from Ethan. "There's my big guy."

Cameron picked up Emily, who was ecstatically bouncing around in mommy's arms, her face lighting up the entire room, as did Ethan's. "Ma, ma, ma," Emily squealed.

"He walked to you," Cameron said to Chase while she squeezed the stuffing out of Emily, overjoyed by the new development. When they left Emily was taking steps on her own, but Ethan wasn't as daring.

"He's taking a few steps here and there, but he's still wobbly," Cameron's mother said, who was carefully standing off to the side so as not to interrupt the family reunion. "Emily's been giving me a run for my money. She's getting faster and sneakier everyday."

Cameron and Chase were both too busy showering love on their children to reply. "How about we switch?" Chase suggested, eager to great his little girl. Cameron nodded enthusiastically, and took her fair-haired son while handing off Emily. "I'm never leaving you again," Cameron said, her heart sinking over the giggles Ethan was now giving her.

Emily squirmed in Chase's arms after taking in his hug, eager now to explore. He put her down and she waddled off in quick steps, screaming in joy in the process. "Look at that. That's my girl." Chase couldn't have been prouder.

Ethan began spouting off one unrecognizable syllable after another, like he was telling his mother in his own way all about his day. Cameron listened with a huge smile, wiggling her nose at him here and there to spark more giggles.

"Why don't you sit down?" Cameron's mother suggested. "You both look like weary traveling vagabonds."

"We were on a plane for fifteen hours. I don't feel like sitting," Cameron said, now letting Ethan down, who took off crawling to try and catch up with his sister.

"Uh Emily, where are you going?" Chase noticed Emily with a stinkerish smile disappearing from view. "Excuse me," he said, racing down the hall to see what the child was up to.

"Well, tell me about the trip," Cameron's mother asked, wanting to hear all about it. "You didn't have to come back early. The kids were being angels."

"I know, and I trusted you with them, but I was road weary and wanted to come home." She watched Ethan explore, noticing his natural curiosity with everything. She was tickled how the simplest things were so fascinating to a small child. "We were away from them for too long. Plus, if I bought any more stuff for them, I'd have to rent a freighter."

Cameron's mother didn't know whether to laugh or scold. "Normally this is where I'd lecture you about spoiling children, but how can you not? They're darling, but beware, they both have this little conspiracy now they're moving around. They're out to divide and conquer."

Chase came in holding a snickering Emily, and placed her down closer to her brother. "If I didn't know better, I'd say they're plotting against us."

Cameron was in a more than forgiving mood. "I'm going to get all the stuff we bought for them. They're going to look so adorable!" She squealed and walked away quickly.

Chase smiled at his mother-in-law. "I better get the camera. I've got to take all those blackmail photos that we'll show their friends when they're teenagers."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Cameron's mother tilted her head, trying to identify the blonde haired mass underneath the big hat. "What in the world is that?"

"A cowhide bush hat with a croc hide band and real croc teeth," Cameron explained. "It's fully crushable and folds neatly into its own bag."

"You bought something that nice for a one year old?"

"They don't turn one for another few weeks."

"I think the point was just lost." They watched Ethan rip off his oversized hat and stick the hat string in his mouth instead.

"Emily doesn't mind her hat," Cameron said, noticing she wasn't trying to rip it off.

"No, that's because she's too amused by running around without seeing what she's banging into." Cameron's mother got up and turned Emily toward safety, all while removing the hat. "Plus, these hats really don't go with the kimonos they're wearing. They also seem a little big."

"They'll grow into them in no time. They still look darling."

Chase wasn't paying any attention to the women, too busy snapping photos of his precious babies. He sided with his mother-in-law, the kids did look ridiculous, but he wouldn't tell his wife that. They would grow into them eventually. Of course when that happened, they'd still look ridiculous.

"Uh, I get that Emily has a Koala bear, but what is that thing Ethan is holding?" Cameron's mother asked.

"A wombat," Chase said.

"A what?"

"That's from me," Chase clarified. "It's a joke, because House called me one once and then everyone started using it."

She nodded. "It's uh…unusual. He seems to love it though."

"Mom, I almost forgot," Cameron said, rooting through the bag. "I got this for you."

"Oh, you shouldn't have." She took the box graciously, impressed that it was made of real wood. "Nah, I'm lying, you should have." She flipped open the box, and gasped at the stunning item inside.

"It's a hand painted china sushi plate, with a custom Japanese orchid floral pattern." Cameron knew she'd win over her mother with her favorite flower.

She was too stunned to say too much. "It's incredible."

"I know it's not much, but we wanted to get you something personal."

"No, this is one of the best gifts I've ever gotten. You know how much I love orchids, and its something authentic."

"Thanks mom, for watching the kids and giving us our time alone." Cameron looked at Chase, who shared her deep look of appreciation.

"I loved having this time with my grandchildren, and I wouldn't trade that time for anything, but next time, take them with you."

Cameron and Chase laughed. "Deal," they both said in unison.

Cameron's mother closed up her cherished gift and got up. "I need to get my things together. The cab is coming in an hour."

"I can drive you to the airport," Chase offered.

"Heavens no, I think you two have seen enough airports for a while. Spend time with your children instead. They missed you and need you." She smiled and went upstairs, leaving Chase and Cameron to marvel over their busy toddlers who had all but abandoned their new things, and were moving onto to other items around the house.

"Welcome home Mrs. Chase," Chase said to Cameron with a sweet smile.

Cameron gave him a relieved-to-be-home smile of her own. "Same to you, Mr. Chase." She gave him a big kiss, but broke it once she spotted Emily running off in the corner of her eye.

"Come back here you little-" She ran off in pursuit, leaving Chase to pick up Ethan, who was gnawing on the leg of the wombat, slobbering all over it. He pulled the stuffed animal away and gave Ethan a teething ring instead.

"Don't let anyone ever call you a wombat."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Chase came into the shared office, not at all surprised to find his colleague there. It looked like judging by the amount of paperwork he dived into that he had been there for a few hours. Chase placed his messenger bag on his desk and took off his jacket, not uttering a syllable of greeting. He sat down, opened up the morning paper, and began to sip his coffee.

The strange silence ensued between the two men for a while until Foreman finally caved. He huffed, threw down his pen, and decided to end the silence. "Go ahead, say it."

"You're an ass."

"Feel better now? I'm so glad we got that out of the way." Foreman's tone was biting and sarcastic, but Chase didn't care.

"I don't think how I feel matters."

Foreman picked up his pen and opened another file, but after a few seconds couldn't let it rest. "Have you spoken with her?"

"Shouldn't she be speaking to her husband? Of course, I know she hasn't."

"We shouldn't be airing our grievances over the phone halfway across the world."

"You're right, which is why you should have stayed in Japan."

Foreman nodded and went back to his work, accepting that he wasn't going to win this argument. "I've been thinking, we need to expand our office space. Business isn't going to let up anytime soon. We might also need to consider hiring some staff."

"Sounds great," Chase replied, still not removing his eyes from the newspaper. "We can talk to our practice consultant when she gets back from vacation."

Foreman winced, kicking himself for giving Chase a door to bring up the fact that Pamela was still their consultant. "Okay, we'll do that the day after tomorrow."

"Actually, she's on vacation until the middle of next week now."

"She's what?" Foreman shook his head, wondering how his wife could be so irresponsible. "What in the world does she plan on doing in Japan by herself?"

"She won't be by herself. She's taking the luxury tour route with Jerry, House and Wilson. Jerry managed to trump up enough fake business meetings to keep them there until next week."

"Perfect," Foreman said, throwing down his pen and leaning backward.

"You don't need to worry until then. I did manage to get Cuddy's authority to use House's team while he's gone, so we'll be getting some help."

Foreman got up. "Well, then we're all set. I'm going to the café and getting some coffee. Need any?"

Chase held up his nearly full steaming cup without looking up from the paper.

"Guess not," Foreman said, leaving the office. Chase smiled, for Foreman had that coming. He'd better get used to the harassing, because once Pamela got home, he'd be getting full blown wrath.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Come on in!" Cameron said, smiling at her two guests. She still felt pretty disjointed from the trip, but also felt lucky that she wouldn't have to go back to work anytime soon. Since House hired his team, her role had been scaled back to consulting on an as needed basis. No cases, no work. She didn't mind a bit.

"It's so good to see you," Cuddy said, stepping into the house with Michael in her arms. "I assume you had a good time."

"We did, although Wilson went MIA, so I really don't have anything to report there."

"I haven't talked with him since he left," Cuddy said. They walked into the living room and she put Michael down on the floor next to Ethan. Emily was in a playpen, standing there and not looking happy at all. Cuddy went to pick her up, but Cameron stopped her in warning.

"Careful, she uses her powers for evil instead of good."

Cuddy laughed and picked her up anyway. "Come on Emily, us girls have to stick together." She sat on the couch with Emily in her arms, and a shocked Cameron watched as her daughter stayed put.

"She's always had a soft spot for you. Want to trade children?"

Cuddy flashed Cameron a get real look, and then went on to make faces and incomprehensible noises at Emily.

"So you haven't talked to Wilson at all?"

"No," Cuddy replied, "but that was part of the deal. We needed a little break, just from all the stress we'd been through over the last year. I found out from his assistant at work yesterday that he'd extended the trip until next week."

"He told me how much he misses Michael."

Cuddy sweetly smiled. "I know, Michael misses him too, as do I. I think in the end this time away will prove to be good for all of us." She threw a few more silly looks at Emily, and got tickled over her belly laugh. "I just don't know how you left these two for that amount of time."

"Yeah, I don't know either. At this rate, I don't even want to leave them for work."

Cuddy scoffed. "That mindset will change. Give it a week or two."

Their talk was interrupted by Michael crying. They looked up to see Ethan now holding the toy that Michael was engrossed with just a minute earlier. "What is that thing?" Cuddy asked.

"It's a wombat," Cameron said, now picking up Michael and bringing him over to the couch.

Cuddy's face twisted. "That's what one of those things looks like? No wonder Chase hated being called that all the time."

Cameron bounced Michael on her knee, which easily calmed him down. "There there, don't let the bigger bully get you down."

Cuddy put Emily down, who was squirming. She wasn't all too pleased to find that Cameron put up the baby gate at the room entrance, blocking her access to the rest of the house. She hung onto the gate and shook it, hoping to find its weakness to assure escape. No such luck came.

"So what's up with Pamela and Foreman?" Cuddy asked, deciding she'd wasted enough time at getting to the gossip.

"You heard about that, huh?"

"How could I not? The hospital gossip is rampant."

"How did they find out?"

"Please, House was there when it happened, right? Don't think being in another continent is going to stop him."

Cameron frowned in resignation. She should have known that. "They're having a rough patch, that's all."

"Uh huh, which is why she's gallivanting around like a party animal all over Japan while Foreman is back to his stack of paperwork?"

"How'd you know she's partying? You said you hadn't talked with Wilson."

Cuddy gave her look of disbelief, for that answer was obvious too. "I get text messages and pictures from House twice daily."

Cameron's frown fell farther. "Yeah, so do I. I should have figured I wasn't the only one."

"The latest picture was her drunk off her ass in with a bunch of laughing Japanese businessmen while all had umbrella drinks."

Cameron sighed in relief. "Oh good, he save the raunchy pictures just for me."

Cuddy shook her head. "I don't want to know."

"I wouldn't worry about Pamela. She's just blowing off steam. She and Foreman will work it out when she gets back."

Cameron paused to watch Emily's brute strength as she shook the gate. Ethan worked his way over and pulled himself up using the gate as an anchor, giggling as he felt the vibrations due to his sister's efforts. Together they both started pulling on the gate, but it held.

"I made sure to get a super strength one for twins. The lady at the store apparently knew my pain." Cameron's smile of satisfaction amused Cuddy, for it wasn't everyday she saw a mother declaring victory over outsmarting her infant twins.

Cuddy took Michael back from Cameron, who clutched onto his baby blanket and snuggled toward mommy.

That was when Emily and Ethan succeeded in their quest, and the gate came crashing down, causing them both to fall forward on top of it. Ethan cried, while Emily got up swiftly and ran off like she was on a prison break. "Excuse me," Cameron said, picking up Ethan in one fell swoop before chasing after Emily.

Cuddy smiled and pulled in Michael tighter. "You have to admit, play dates at the Chase home are never boring."


	6. She's Back

"You aren't gonna get sick, are ya?" The cab driver looked in his rear view mirror, never seeing a black woman look so white.

"Don't worry about me, just keep driving." She did feel a little queasy, but that margarita in the airport lounge helped her rebound a bit.

"I keep paper bags in the seat pocket there, just in case."

Pamela grabbed one of the bags, just in case.

"Where'd you come from sweetheart? It must have been one hell of a vacation." The cabbie couldn't see if her eyes were bloodshot since she was wearing sunglasses, but he had enough drunks in his cab to know when someone had tipped a few wet ones.

"Japan," she muttered. She at first wished he'd shut up, but then again, he was the only thing keeping her awake. She didn't want to pass out in the back of his cab and wake up to find he'd driven her all around New Jersey on the way home.

"Really? I just did a run for two guys that came in from Japan. One of them looked pretty haggard, just like you. The other looked like he was glad to be finally home."

Pamela looked at her watch, wondering how House and Wilson managed to get home before her. They were on the same flight. That was when she realized she might have been in the bar a little longer than she thought. "What a coincidence," she said unimpressed.

"So, you traveled alone?"

"Yep, that's me, all alone. It's my adventurous spirit."

"Uh huh," the cab driver said, noticing her bitter tone.

Pamela jumped when her cell phone went off. She wasn't sure if her fast heartbeat came from the loud noise or because of her pounding head, but it agitated her nonetheless. She fumbled in her purse and yanked out the phone.

"What?" she answered sharply.

"Yes Jamal, you forgot to pick me up. Don't worry about it, I'm on my way home in a cab…No I haven't talked with him, have you?...Yeah, I figured he'd be avoiding you…Look, I'll be home in twenty minutes, try not to destroy anything until I get there…No, I'm not that drunk, you won't have to carry me up the stairs…yeah, later." She threw the phone back in her purse. She didn't want to deal with her stupid brother right now. She wanted to fall into her bed and go to sleep for a week.

"So someone forgot ya?"

"Yeah," Pamela said in a low voice, "my shithead brother."

"Happens all the time," the cabbie replied, as though his constant experiences with that sort of thing would comfort the drunk lady.

Pamela looked out the window, and then got an idea. "Hey, can you go right at this intersection? I've changed my mind. I'm gonna go to a friend's house instead."

--

"You look like hell."

Pamela shot Cameron a look of discontent, for she never did appreciate her ability to state the obvious. "Is it okay if I hang here for a while?"

Cameron smiled. "Of course." She let Pamela enter with the cabbie close behind with Pamela's bags. Once they were placed inside, Pamela rummaged through her purse and pulled out some bills, handing it roughly to the cabbie without expression before retreating to the front room.

"Thanks for everything," Cameron said with a perky smile to the cab driver. He wasn't sure whose expression he appreciated less, but Cameron's was just a bit more grating for him. "No problem." He went a few steps forward, turned around, and plastered on his own fake smile. "Have a nice day."

Cameron kept smiling until she closed the door, allowing herself to scowl instead. She glanced at Pamela, who had fallen back into the couch, sunglasses still perched on her face. She shook her head in pity and went to join her friend. "Have a nice flight?"

"Cut the crap Allison." Pamela settled back farther, closing her eyes and noticing the strange quiet. "Why aren't I hearing kids screaming?"

"Nap time," Cameron said. "Pamela, you're welcome here, but shouldn't you be going home to your husband?"

"It's 4:30. Trust me, he won't be home for another four hours at least."

"They've been getting out on time these days. It seems House's team has been able to help with their workload."

"What makes you think Eric will want to see me?"

"Don't you want to see him?"

"No, I think a nap sounds better right now." She nuzzled deeper into the couch, hoping Cameron would get the hint how tired she was.

They were interrupted by the sounds of crying. "I think Ethan is up. That will surely wake up his sister. I'll be right back." Cameron retreated upstairs, finding her assumptions were correct. Both twins were standing in their cribs, each with wide awake smiles as soon as their mother entered the room. She picked up a baby in each arm, and headed back downstairs to her guest.

She re-entered the room, only to find a slouching Pamela now snoring. She smiled, backed out slowly with twins in hand, and closed the French doors, sealing off the front room. "Come on you two, let's give Aunt Pam some rest."

--

"How long has she been in there?" Chase asked, while he and Cameron were having dinner. He'd almost fallen flat on his face over the bags that were sitting in the front hallway. That was when he noticed they had a visitor.

"A few hours now. She really looked beat."

Chase nodded, wondering what type of chicken surprise was sitting on his plate. At least it tasted like chicken. He appreciated his wife's new interest in cooking meals since she'd been off work, but once in a while he'd like to be able to guess what he was eating. "So did you accomplish anything today?"

"I got a party tent reserved. I'm still going over catering options."

"Catering? Have you gone mad? It's a birthday party for a pair of one year olds. Pizza works. I know you've invited half the hospital, but I haven't run into anyone that doesn't like pizza yet."

"I don't know, we can have pizza, but that sounds so bland."

Chase scooped up more dinner, realizing that whatever it really was, it wasn't so bad. "Pizza goes perfect with the beer."

Cameron's eyes grew wide. "Beer? No alcohol, it's a kids birthday party."

"When your guest list is almost all adults, beer is happening. This isn't a church social." Chase knew he wasn't coming unless he could drink, even if it was his own kids.

"We'll discuss that later." Cameron was already tired of this party planning dominating her day and wasn't in much of a mood to discuss it. Besides, they had another problem. "Did Foreman say anything about her coming home today?"

"Nope, not a thing. He actually volunteered to stay behind and finish up some growing paperwork. Of course, I finished that paperwork yesterday, so I knew it was a lie. He's probably catching up on all the waiting room magazines."

Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of heavy footsteps coming from the hall, almost zombie like. They weren't at all surprised to see one of the living dead standing before them.

"Good morning sunshine," Chase said with a cheerful greeting.

"Bite me," Pamela shot back, realizing her entrance was thwarted by a baby gate. She pushed on it a little, and found it was locked good and tight. "Who are you trying to keep in there, the Incredible Hulk?"

Cameron smiled as she got up to open the gate. "You'd be amazed the brute strength of one year old twins."

"Almost one," Chase corrected.

"Whatever." Cameron gave Pamela room for passage, and then secured the gate tight again. She gave the evil eye to Emily, who was watching her every move, waiting patiently for her mother to make that one crucial mistake.

Pamela felt something tug on her leg, and noticed Ethan pulling himself up using her as leverage, all with a huge devilish grin on his face. She looked at him in wonder, and then Emily, who wandered away when she noticed her chance for escape was gone. "They look like they've grown a foot since the last time I've seen them."

"Would you like some dinner? It's Chicken Ala King."

"So that's what this is," Chase said to himself, not daring to say it out loud.

Pamela shook her head. "No offense, but just looking at it makes me want to barf. How about some water?"

Chase's cell phone went off in that instant. He rolled his eyes when he saw who it was. "Lose something?" He answered.

"My wife was supposed to be home hours ago. Jamal that shithead admitted he forgot to pick her up, but that she was on her way home in a cab."

"Oh, so you're worried? Think something bad happened?" Chase was playing up Foreman's concern for all it was worth.

"Very funny. She's there, isn't she?"

"Yep."

"Can I talk to her?"

"She's currently occupied." He chuckled over how Pamela stood frozen, too afraid to move while Ethan clutched onto her leg and wouldn't let go. "Maybe it would be better if you came over here and got her."

"Occupied? Never mind, I'll be there in twenty minutes."

Chase hung up, only to see the daggers shooting out of Pamela's eyes headed straight toward him. "What? He was worried. He's your husband you know."

Pamela chugged down her water and picked up Ethan. "Fine. You better take your children to safety if you're responsible parents, for they shouldn't be witness to the horrific carnage that's about to transpire." She went over to the couch, where Ethan let her hold him, as if he knew that she needed a friend.

"You sure that was a wise idea?" Cameron asked, picking up their dishes off the table.

Chase shrugged. "It will either be a wise move, or the stupidest thing I've ever done. Foreman and Pamela always leave you guessing."

--

Chase opened the front door, letting Foreman enter without a word. Foreman looked at him with complete dread, not exactly sure what was going to happen, but he knew he probably wouldn't like it. They walked down the hall, and Foreman froze in front of the baby gate, admiring Chase's flexibility to step over it. Foreman wouldn't follow suit though, and waited patiently.

Chase noticed Foreman's hesitation. "You didn't do track and field in high school or college? Hurdles are higher."

Foreman said nothing, and continued to stare at Chase with discontent. Chase rolled his eyes and unhinged the gate, letting Foreman pass through. Foreman was almost bowled over by a toddler on a thunderous rampage, but Chase snagged the surging Emily before securing the gate again. "I see she's walking." Foreman said.

"No, we just put up the gate so Allison and I could work on our agility training."

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, Foreman was pelted in the side of the head with something soft. "What the-," he exclaimed, wondering what got him. He saw a stuffed toy settle at his feet. _Is that a wombat? _He looked up in the direction it came from to see Pamela standing there, pure hate on her face, heaving deep breaths like she just threw something.

Cameron jumped up, swooping up Ethan, while signaling Chase to get Emily. "What do you know, it's the twins' bedtime. Excuse us for a while."

Chase and Cameron quickly worked their way out of the room, both stepping cleanly over the gate with a child in their arms. Foreman watched them leave. _Wow, they really have developed good agility. _He shook off his stray thought and looked back toward his pissed off wife, who was waiting patiently for him to say or do something.

"Uh, you…you look um…I mean…oh screw it, you don't look so hot."

Pamela folded her arms. "I don't look so hot? Gee, maybe because I'm coming down off a week long drinking binge."

"Did you have fun?"

"I don't remember!"

Foreman lowered his eyes toward the floor, at a loss for what to say next. "I'm sorry you had to be alone like that."

Pamela gritted her teeth, holding back every instinct to beat the crap out of him. "If you were sorry than you would have stayed with me. Don't offer fake apologies to make your inflated ego feel better."

Foreman's face lit up in frustration. "What do you want me to say Pamela?"

"I want you to say what you actually feel. Did you have a good week?"

"Yes, actually, I did." Foreman looked at his wife, expecting her to be mad, but her reaction was more upset than anything, fighting back tears by pursing her lips together. He stepped toward her in sympathy and held out his arms. "Pamela I-"

"No," she said, waving him off. "You're just off the hook for now because I'm so damn jetlagged my brain is Swiss cheese."

"Shouldn't we talk about this?" Foreman pleaded.

"Now?? You actually want to talk about this now? We couldn't discuss it while alone in the peaceful confines of Japan, but you're willing to do it in the living room of a friend's house the day I get back, with small children present, knowing that I don't have the mental capacity to tie my freaking shoelace? Great timing Eric."

"Come on Pamela, is what I did so bad?"

Pamela turned away, unable to understand why Eric was acting like such a dumbass. "I'm not talking to a clueless jackass. At this point, that stuffed wombat is less dead to me."

Foreman stammered on his words, unable to get what she was saying. "I'm dead to you?"

Pamela whipped back around and flared her searing eyes at him. "You're so dead, I told everyone in Japan I was a widow."

Foreman's face dropped as if a bomb went off inside. "Pamela, did you…?"

Pamela let her anger slip, noticing her husband's genuine worry. Despite how mad she was, she still cared. "No Eric, I knew I was still married."

Foreman nodded in relief, accepting how irrational Pamela was when she was tired, or drunk, or both. "At least let your late husband take you home. What you need right now is your bed."

She noticed his earnest look, but most important, that bed sounded too damn good. "Okay, let's go."

They both headed toward the hallway, only to be stopped by the baby gate. Foreman took Pamela by the waist, and lifted her over the obstacle with gentle grace that surprised her. He then stepped over the gate himself, managing the same nimble step that Cameron and Chase had perfected. They walked to the door in silence and he picked up her bags.

"I can't be held responsible if you're murdered in your sleep," Pamela said, issuing final warning. After they stared at each other with serious glances for a few seconds, Pamela cracked a smile. "Gotcha."

"I'm keeping a baseball bat nearby just in case," Foreman said, stepping out the front door.

"Why does that sound appealing to me?" Pamela said, closing the door behind her.


	7. Happy Birthday, part 1

**a/n: At first I thought that the birthday party would be two chapters, now I don't know. It could be three. Here's the first part of it, which all the planning goes wrong. Stressed out Cameron, and Pamela takes charge. ****Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. Enjoy!  
**

--

Cameron was determined to hold it all together today

Cameron was determined to hold it all together today. She went to bed early in order to get plenty of rest. Her mind needed to be sharp with so much to coordinate. The party tent was due to be delivered, then the food, then of course she had to get out all the presents for her babies. She stopped to smile at the thought. Her babies were one year old today. They were growing up.

"Ma, ma, ma," Cameron heard from the bedroom. "Damn," she thought. She was hoping the twins would sleep a little later so she could be things done. That's alright, Robert would be there to help. She went into the twins' room and headed over to Ethan, who was standing up with a bright smile.

"I'll catch you later." Cameron heard the Aussie voice from a distance behind her.

She froze, wondering what he was talking about. "Huh?" She asked, turning around to see him dressed as if he was going to work.

"I should only be a couple of hours."

"You're leaving? Today? But the party…"

"I told you last night I had to go in for a few hours. One of our patients was admitted and there were some tests to go over."

Cameron tried to remember such a conversation. He was talking about something while she was going through some lists and chasing Emily around, but none of it rang a bell. "Can't Foreman do it?"

"I'm there helping him. Her diagnosis is more in my territory."

Cameron huffed, trying hard to ignore the fact that Ethan was interrupting their conversation by grabbing onto her shirt and clamoring loudly. She scooped him up, and walked into the hallway where Chase was standing. "I have so much to do. I won't get it done in time if I have to deal with these two."

Chase smiled and leaned over, kissing his boy on the forehead. "Happy Birthday little guy." A huge baby smile burst onto Ethan's face. "Da, da, da."

Cameron wasn't touched by the exchange, still fretting over being left alone.

"Have Pamela come and help," Chase suggested.

"Pamela? Have you seen the way she handles things? She does kamikaze arrangements without any type of order."

"Let her watch the kids then."

Cameron threw a look of malcontent at Chase, who realized the flawed logic in that suggestion. "You can make it work. I'll be home in plenty of time. I'll be able to help too."

"There's so much to do," Cameron protested over Ethan's babble.

"It's a birthday party for a pair of one year olds. How much has to be put together?"

"It's a party for forty adults. Plenty."

Chase kissed her on the cheek. "Don't worry. It'll be fine. Just do what you can." He quickly bolted, leaving an exasperated Cameron behind, who then heard screaming from her other child. "Just kill me," she muttered, heading back into the bedroom.

--

"Hold on!" Cameron shouted, hoping that it was Pamela. She had spent most of the morning bouncing back and forth like a ping pong ball in between getting stuff ready for the party and dealing with two temperamental one year olds. She was too quick to climb over the gate to get to the front door and stumbled, almost falling flat on her face. She turned and scowled at Emily, whose laugh indicated she very much enjoyed the mommy acrobatics.

Cameron got to the front door, only to find it wasn't Pamela. It was a man in a pair of torn up jeans and a dirty sweatshirt.

"So where'd you want the tent?" He asked.

Cameron wasn't expecting him for a couple more hours. She turned to look at the twins, wondering if they would be okay while she showed him the exact spot in the backyard. One look at Emily's evil grin let her know they wouldn't be okay. "Hold on," she said, going down the hall and opening the gate, grabbing a speeding Emily in one arm, and then going into the far corner of the living room to scoop up Ethan. She carried them both back to the man at the front door, who was showing little patience for the time it was taking her to fetch her kids.

She headed outside with kids in tow, fighting a squirming Emily who saw chances of freedom outdoors even better. She put Emily down and held her hand, guiding her toward the backyard while Emily took her sweet time, trying to wrestle free, not at all enjoying the fact that she didn't have control of the situation. The man again looked at Cameron impatiently, wondering how long a simple stroll into the backyard would take.

Cameron thought about saying something, like questioning why a guy that delivered party tents would be so intolerant of children for which most parties are thrown. She decided to let it slide though, and eventually they reached the spot where Cameron wanted things setup.

The man looked at Cameron's suggested spot. "Over there would be better," he said, pointing across where there was a larger clearing from the trees.

"Okay then," Cameron said rather irritated, "there." She wondered why he dragged her out there with two children just to tell her where it should go. The man nodded and headed off to his truck to fetch the tent. Cameron wondered if he picked that spot because it was closest to the truck. While she was lost in thought, she felt a yank on her hand and all of a sudden she was down one child. Emily streaked toward the back of the yard, giggling the entire time.

"Come back here you little brat!" Cameron tried to keep up, but Ethan in the other arm slowed her down. She engaged in the game of cat and mouse for a few minutes, until off of a sudden, she felt a drop of water. Then another. Then another, and pretty soon, it was a downpour. She'd been so busy, she didn't check to see what the weather was today. _Rain?_ The rain didn't deter Emily one bit and if anything, it inspired her to run faster, now belly laughing more than ever.

Within a minute, Cameron was drenched, Ethan was drenched and crying, and Emily was drenched running around laughing. She put Ethan down on the ground, and went after Emily. Finally, after two more minutes, she managed to catch her evil child, yanking her up by the waist. "Gotcha!" She wrestled with Emily for another minute, tightly securing the child under her arm, and then went to pick up Ethan, who wasn't there.

"Ethan?" she said frantically, but telling herself a crawling toddler wasn't going to go far. She was right when she saw the hand and knee marks leading to a hedgerow. The hedgerow that…_Oh no._

Sure enough, she found Ethan, who was now screaming in delight, covered head to toe in muck and throwing mud in the air. They were creating a new bed there and recently laid new sod, the sod that Ethan was now wearing. Cameron yanked up Ethan and it was like trying to hold onto a slippery pig. He was almost fell out of her arms a few times and Emily jerking around in her other arm wasn't helping. Cameron went into the screen porch, locked the door behind her and put them both down, sinking down on the lawn chair, soaking wet and now muddy herself.

Cameron heard the phone ring. She glared with disapproval at her two evil children, and stepped quickly inside to pick up the phone. "You're what? Oh, yeah, everything is just going great." She slammed down the phone, too livid to talk anymore. Robert wasn't going to be home for another few hours, and now she had to bathe two toddlers as well as herself, not to mention deal with scattered party deliveries. She began to rethink her policy of no alcohol at the party.

"The tent's up," the man told her, standing on the other side of the screen. Cameron looked up, noticing something obvious in the pouring rain. "There's a ton of water coming in from under the tent. Aren't tents supposed to keep water out?"

"Yeah, but this one's got a huge slash in the roof. I took care of it though." Cameron noticed the rain was mostly being caught by a collection of buckets.

"Don't you think rain pouring in from a tent defeats the purpose of having one?!" Cameron's clenched her fists, her agitation at near bursting levels, ready to take a life if she had to.

The man looked at her with fright. He knew never to cross a stressed-out mother. "I've got some duct tape in the truck."

"Perfect," Cameron said with clenched teeth, who then watched the man race to the truck for fear of his life.

She heard the doorbell ring and bolted through the house to get it, not caring anymore what trouble her children got into on the screen porch.

"Where the hell have you been?" Cameron harshly asked Pamela while opening the door. She headed back toward the porch, not even bothering to welcome her guest inside.

Pamela entered the house, closed the front door, and followed Cameron. She was a little freaked out, noticing her wet and muddy friend. She tried to speculate what happened, but then looked at Ethan. He was blacker than she was. "Have a little child trouble?"

"A little? At this rate, these two aren't going to make it to their second birthday!" Cameron took in a deep calming breath. "I've got to give these two a bath, and then I've got to clean myself up. Can you watch out for the caterer and balloon deliveries? Also, there's a dude out there duct taping a tent. Make sure he does it right."

Pamela should have known by now to never expect the ordinary in this household. "Gotcha babe."

Cameron scooped up both Ethan and Emily and stomped inside. Pamela wisely withheld her laughter until Cameron was out of sight.

--

Chase wandered into the screen porch, flustered by many things. One was that his wife and kids were missing. Second, Pamela was sitting alone on the porch leafing through a magazine. Third, there was a guy with a ladder outside trying to do something with a roll of tape and a tent roof in the pouring rain.

"Robert!" Pamela exclaimed in cheery voice. "You managed to break free."

"Yeah," he answered bewildered, eyes still fixed in the backyard. "I got away a little earlier than planned. Where's my family?"

"Upstairs. There was some strange mishap with your twins and a pile of mud out back."

Chase opened his mouth, wanting to know why his kids were out that deep in the yard while it was pouring rain, but stopped himself. He was sure Allison would give him the exhaustive detail. He wasn't even going to ask about the tent.

"Let me guess," Pamela said, "you got to leave while Eric stayed behind just to make sure everything was okay."

"Did you expect any other result?" Chase replied. "He swears he'll be by later."

"Yeah, much later. Just in time for the twins to go to bed, but in enough time to ease his conscience. It don't matter, I've learned to have fun without him."

Chase wanted to give her a chance to talk about it more, but they both heard the steps of someone coming toward them. Cameron entered the room, freshly cleaned up, but not at all impressed by the presence of her husband.

"Don't worry Allison," Pamela said, "I got it all under control."

Cameron gave Chase an evil eye, delivering the message she was still fuming about her morning. That was all the effort she'd waste for now though, since she just put the twins down for a nap and needed to get cracking. "I'm surprised the caterer hasn't shown up yet."

"Oh, she did," Pamela said, putting down her magazine. "I fired her."

"You what?! But there's no food!"

"Her chicken wings tasted like sawdust, and the potato salad was rancid. I also pointed out to her that broccoli isn't yellow and cauliflower isn't black. The baby carrots were great, so she left those. Too bad the dip was like water."

"But I gave her a deposit."

"Which was refunded as soon as I mentioned the name of a good friend at the Board of Health. It's on your kitchen island. Don't panic, I told you I got it covered. I've got an order in for pizza delivery. They were more than happy to take in the last minute business, and they even threw in a tray of hot wings for free."

Cameron held her head, wondering if this day could get any worse. "What about the balloons?"

"Those came too and they're gorgeous. I put them in the dining room."

Cameron went off to check them, while Chase shook his head. "I guess it's been a rough morning."

"Tell me about it. At least they'll be plenty of pizza and beer."

Pamela didn't like the sour look on Chase's face. "What aren't you telling me?"

"No alcohol. Her orders."

"To hell with that," Pamela said. She reached for her cell phone and pushed a button for speed dial. "You've got that refrigerator in the basement rec room, right?"

Chase nodded with a wicked smile, seeing where she was going.

"Yeah, Jamal," Pamela said into the phone. "I need you to do me a favor. On your way over here, I need you to make a run for me."

She sighed over his protests, not having much time for this. "Don't worry about that, I'll pay you back. Of course, that would require you to have funds in the first place. How about this, stop at Manny's Party Store. He'll have an order ready for you and will charge my card. Oh, and Jamal, please hurry."

She hung up the phone while Chase looked at her fiendishly. "Allison won't like it, having alcohol at a party for one year olds."

"The party for one year olds is out in that waterlogged tent. We'll make an appearance. The adult party is happening in your rec room."

"Pamela!" She heard Cameron shout from the hallway. Cameron approached them, more in a tizzy than ever.

"What's wrong, don't you like the balloons?"

"The top balloon says 'Happy Birthday, Evan and Emil.'"

"Yeah, the lady thought those were strange names for twins. I told her we forgave you for it a long time ago."

"Pamela!"

"Oh come on, the balloons are gorgeous, and your kids can't read. They're fine."

"I can read!"

"Won't that be a nice funny story to share for them in the future?"

Cameron let out a yell in frustration and stormed off. Chase snickered softly while Pamela dialed another number and waited for the answer. "Manny? This is Pamela Foreman. I need the party package number four."


	8. Happy Birthday, part 2

**a/n: Sorry, it's late. I'll just go with the usual lame excuse that life has gotten a little too crazy lately, because honestly, it has. I'm still aiming for the next update to be on Friday. Thanks for your patience, and enjoy this one, it's a little crazy!**

--

"Thank you for coming," Cameron said, wilted smile hanging on her face. She was already exhausted from her day, and people were just arriving. She and Chase stood at the top of the driveway, watching nervously as the black clouds moved in from the horizon.

"Where are those precious twins?" The woman asked, holding proudly a large gift bag in her hand.

"Oh, they're around," Chase said, not sure himself who really had them. He remembered Ramone and Brenda each taking one and going in their separate directions. He wondered if he should check on their whereabouts, but he sensed with this many people around they were probably okay. "Oh, you brought a gift. How nice of you. There's a table under the tent where you can put that."

The woman went on her way, with both Cameron and Chase holding their smiles until she was clear. "Who was that?" Chase asked.

"Uh, Rita, Sharon, Frieda, hell I don't know," Cameron said. "She's one of the nurses on the fourth floor. I honestly don't know who got invitations there. I also thought that the invitations said no presents."

Chase scoffed, watching Rita or Sharon or Frieda trying to find room on the table to put her bag. "You honestly believed that people where going to show for a children's birthday party with no gifts?"

"House didn't bring a gift," Cameron said.

"House wouldn't bring a gift even if you told him to."

Cameron frowned, looking at the crowd. "Where is House anyway?" She looked harder and noticed a few faces were missing. "You suppose he's up to something?"

Chase did his best to play cool, figuring that the other party in the basement would be quickly discovered by many, with House leading the charge. "They're probably in other parts of the yard circulating. We're missing a couple of children too. Why don't I check?" Chase walked away before he could see Cameron's reaction, but he guessed she was none too happy with being left alone.

"But, but…" Cameron said, none too happy over Chase walking away. She didn't want to be left alone with the task of greeting guests. She was already nervous over Pamela taking charge of the party while she played host. She could only imagine in what shape the food table was. She probably had the desserts mixed in the salad. Oh yeah, there was no salad. Pizza and desserts then. Speaking of which, where was Pamela? She was missing too.

"You better take shelter, Dr. Cameron, it's starting to rain again."

Cameron turned around to see another guest arriving. She was in uniform, obviously coming off her shift. Her hospital badge said Frieda, so the other one must be Rita or Sharon. Or was there two Friedas? She shook off that question, for it seemed a little impossible. "Darn, I was hoping the weather would hold up." She did her best not to frown when she saw Frieda holding a present. "A present, how thoughtful." Cameron took the present from her, deciding it was time to join the party.

Both women got to the tent in just time before the sky opened up and rain began to pour. "Looks like a crappy day for an outdoor party," Frieda said jokingly. Cameron cracked a half smile, for she wasn't in the joking mood. Frieda uncomfortably looked around, and found her way out. "Excuse me, I need to say hello to some co-workers." She quickly bailed, leaving Cameron alone.

Cameron looked around at the crowd, noticing how listless everyone was. The party was not getting off to an exciting start. She imagined those missing took shelter elsewhere. Where was Pamela? Where was Robert? She shook off her sour mood, plastered on her fake smile, and went to circulate among her guests.

--

"So where is it?" House said to Pamela, who was bouncing from person to person, playing the joyful host.

"Do you honestly think I would order something that special just for you?" Pamela said, mocking surprise over House's demand.

House scoffed. "You drink it too. Gimme."

Pamela chuckled. "Hey Jamal, bring me the good stuff!" He obliged, pulling out her stash from a cabinet and coming over with a glass in his hand, filling it up for House.

"Gotta take care of the top doc," Jamal said, handing the drink over. House snatched it from his hand like it was a piece of gold.

Pamela waived her mostly empty glass at Jamal in disgust, shocked that he would overlook her. "Chill woman," he said with a huff, filling up her glass before going on to serve other guests.

"Manny always throws a special bottle in for me whenever I order. He knows me so well."

House sighed with delight as the premium scotch went down his throat. He didn't even mind that he was sitting on an old lumpy basement couch that hurt his leg worse than if he was standing. He had something to numb the pain. "Now leave me alone."

"Gladly," Pamela said, moving onto better things.

Speaking of numb pain, what was that tugging on his leg? House's blue eyes lowered slowly, peering at the leech that got him. A leech in the form of a one year old blue eyed blond haired boy. One dressed in a pathetic sweater vest, blue shirt and tie. Even though House threw his scariest look of scorn, the child just grinned.

"You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny," House told Ethan, now producing the most intimidating look possible. Ethan laughed.

"He likes you," Wilson said, wondering briefly why House's own son wouldn't do that. Probably because he wasn't a glutton for punishment. He shrugged over the thought and drank more of his beer.

"It looks like Baby Gap threw up on him," House responded, still giving Ethan a stern glare. "Go away," House commanded to the boy, but Ethan giggled more and latched onto his leg harder.

"Come on House, he needs some male bonding. He's been spending too much time with his mother and sister." Wilson picked up Ethan and placed him in between him and House on the couch. Ethan settled in confidently, and became more amused with every frightening look House threw at him.

"Uncle Greg," Wilson said to Ethan, pointing to House.

"Geg," Ethan said, who then rested his head on House's arm.

House pushed Ethan gently toward Wilson. "Uncle Jimmy."

"Geg," Ethan said again, climbing onto House's lap this time.

"Great," House said, rolling his eyes. "He's just like his dad. No matter how bad I torture him, he clings on." He looked down at Ethan, trying his best to scare the crap out of the kid, but nothing worked. "Shouldn't you but stuffing your half bred Aussie face with cake or something?"

"Just berate him with harsh words like you do with his dad. That will work," Wilson said sarcastically.

Ethan laughed and started cooing, snuggling in tighter in House's lap while his eyes started fluttering.

"Oh come on!" House was thoroughly disgusted now. "Someone better get this kid off of me fast or Chase ends up with a maimed and deformed freak." House looked closer as Ethan's eyes closed. "Hell, he's already some sort of retard."

Wilson sat there and chuckled, while House's irritation grew to a boiling point.

"Do something!" House yelled at Wilson, cringing even further at the young child who was now snoozing, using him as a comfy pillow.

Wilson rolled his eyes, and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket. He held it up, flashed the picture, pushed a few more buttons, and put the phone back in his pocket.

House's uncomfortable glare now turned to near homicidal, and it was geared at Wilson. Just before he could act out, Chase came racing into the room. He scooped up his son out of House's lap, and delivered him to safety. "Thanks," Chase said to Wilson, who was smirking over House's still lingering trauma.

Ethan snapped awake and looked at his dad, then tried squirming out of his arms. "Geg, geg."

Chase and Wilson both shared a perplexed look, while House got up. "Thanks Chase for the truly disturbing experience. Now I have to find out if a court will issue a restraining order for a one year old."

Chase and Wilson busted out laughing as House went outside, finding the rain an acceptable alternative.

--

Brenda and Cuddy stood under the tent, with Michael in Cuddy's arms, all watching the sets of raindrops fight their way through edge of the duct tape and run along the crease a short while before giving up and falling. It was the most entertaining thing they'd seen at the party so far.

"Um," Cuddy said, trying to make some sort of conversation, "what's new?"

"You saw me yesterday Dr. Cuddy. I'm afraid I haven't pulled a Jack Bauer and saved the universe in that time."

Cuddy nodded, realizing that small talk was nothing Brenda enjoyed. Their awkward silence was interrupted by a rain drop hitting Cuddy straight on the forehead, generating a laugh from Michael. His eyes went back to eagerly watching the drops. Brenda held back her laughter, but she was still too obvious.

"Booorrrinnngggg." They turned around to see Ramone behind them, holding Emily in his arms. She had on a frilly white dress, and she too looked bored out of her whit.

"Doesn't Cameron realize that one year olds stain white dresses in two seconds flat?" Brenda asked.

Ramone smiled and removed his hand to reveal the giant grape juice stain in the front. He shrugged. "I couldn't find a child cup."

"Cameron should have asked for help with this party. Everyone knows "fun" isn't in her vocabulary." Cuddy said.

"So how long do we have to make an appearance here before we go back to the real fun in the basement?" Brenda asked

"If we don't rotate, the fun party gets shut down," Ramone reminded them.

"You don't think that Cameron isn't going to figure out what's going on in her own house?" Cuddy asked, surprised at their attempts at deception.

They all shared a quizzical look, and then shook their heads. "Nah."

Suddenly, they noticed a miserable flock coming from the basement, with Chase and Ethan leading the charge. Most of them were so despondent they didn't even care that they were getting wet from the rain. All except Jamal that is, who was running in circles through the rain like a child, joyous over the prospect of getting drenched.

"It looks like a reenactment of _Dawn of The Dead_," Ramone noticed. "As bored as I am, they can have all of my brains that they want."

"It must be cake and ice cream time," Cuddy said. "Get your singing voices ready."

She heard the collective groan from the crowd around her. Even Emily didn't look all that excited.

"Yikes," said Ramone. "Here comes the scariest zombie of all. She must be the queen or something." They saw a very displeased Pamela bringing up the rear.

"Do zombies have queens? If you kill the queen, does that kill the entire flock? I'm a little rusty on my zombie lore." Brenda said, gazing at Pamela's sorry state. Ramone and Cuddy both looked at her like she lost her mind.

"Okaaaayyyy, I'd say this dull party has officially killed your brain cells," Ramone said to Brenda. "For everyone's sake someone better get this party moving." Ramone raised a hand and enthusiastically waived the crowd over. "Come on everybody, let the festivities begin!"

He placed Emily down in one high chair, and Chase put Ethan in the one next to her. They both stared up at Dad, perplexed over the sight of being put on display in front of a bunch of adults. Chase leaned over to Ramone. "You let her have grape juice?"

Ramone shrugged. "She was thirsty."

Before Chase could formulate a plan to hide the mess, Cameron emerged from inside, pleased to see everyone gathered together. She noticed Ramone leading the group, leaving her to wonder why she didn't put him in charge of the planning in the first place. He knew how to stir up a crowd.

Cameron came over to the children with a pair of party hats in her hands. She placed one on Emily, but by the time she got over to Ethan to put on his she saw how fast Emily ripped hers off with disgust. "Come on baby," she said, "keep it on for the picture." She tried to put the hat on again, and this time Emily yanked it off and threw it straight on the ground.

"Please Emily?" Cameron said, trying to be cheerful, but Emily rebuffed her third attempt, riling Cameron more. She muttered a few choice words under her breath, ready to disown this kid.

Ramone picked up the hat and stepped in front of Emily, wearing a sweet smile. "You look so pretty in this hat. Can I get a picture of you with it on?" Emily smiled back and let him put the hat on without question.

Cameron got ready to take the picture, not sure whether to be pleased or jealous that Emily would listen to Ramone. At this point, she didn't care. Just as she was getting ready to snap the photo, she noticed the grape juice stain on Emily's dress. She froze, anger waving through her. "How did…?"

Chase came over and whispered to his wife. "Take the damn picture. They're only going to stay this way for so long." Cameron grimaced and snapped the photo, while the crowd broke into song, led in artful direction by Ramone. Both the twins were amused by his goofy behavior, giggling over every strain of "Happy Birthday." Everyone else was pretty amused by Ramone too, but that was likely due to the drinks they had earlier.

Cameron was so overjoyed by the twins and busy taking pictures, she didn't notice when Jamal put pieces of cake in front of the kids. Before she could stop them, both Ethan and Emily dug in with their hands, smashed the cake into their mouths, all over their faces, and of course, all down the front of their nice outfits. It didn't help that the frosting was multicolored, since the cake was decorated with a balloon theme. Ethan's blonde hair suddenly was green, red, and blue, as was Emily's white dress.

She stood there with her mouth open, not at all impressed to see her husband stand in front of his children, encouraging their messy behavior by laughing hysterically. "Come on," he said, taking the camera from Cameron. "You've got to get pictures of this."

Cameron walked in front of Emily, trying to figure out what to do, just in time for Emily to fling a chunk of cake at her. Ethan laughed hysterically at his sister, and started throwing his cake too. Chase grabbed Cameron's arm, noticing her frustration now reaching a boiling point. "I'll handle this." He handed back the camera, while she threw up her arms and turned away, realizing that harming her children in front of a crowd on her first birthday might not be a good idea.

Chase reached behind him and got his own piece of cake, and stood in front of his two unruly children. He cut with the fork a small bit of his own cake, looked at Emily with a wicked smile, and flung the piece at her. She giggled, and threw more of her cake at Dad. He threw some back, and then Ethan joined in the fun. Between the three of them, small bits of cake flew back and forth, while all three were in hysterics.

Everyone at the party gathered around to witness this event, all laughing at the impromptu food fight, some even snapping photos. "Damn," Ramone said to Brenda, "I've been to tons of kids parties, but I've never seen anything like this. Cake fights should be a requirement."

"Hey Ramone!" He whipped around to just in time to see a piece of cake smack him square in the face. He saw a laughing Michael in Cuddy's arms, and his hands were messy. "Bring it on little man!" Ramone said with a huge grin, now flinging his cake at both Michael and his mother, the instigator. Brenda and a few other people jumped into the act, and now cake was airborne in another corner.

Suddenly, Jamal climbed onto a table in the middle of the tent. "FOOD FIGHT!!" He yelled. Cake went flying everywhere.

Cameron stood at the back, stunned by the outbreak of flying dessert, while someone replenished Emily and Ethan's cake supply, allowing them to further pelt their father. Pamela came over to her, thinking hard about what to say, but had nothing. She thought about throwing cake at her, but the girl had enough for one day. Pamela just snickered. "Just cut your losses Allison, this day was doomed from the start."

"Where are you hiding the booze Pamela?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Cameron abruptly clenched onto Pamela's shirt and yanked her towards her, flashing a crazed look in her eyes. "The booze, now Pamela!"

A stunned Pamela nodded quickly, able to recognize when a person had cracked. "Follow me to the basement."


	9. Happy Birthday, part 3

**a/n: Warning, there's some cussing in this one, but if you were Cameron, you'd be cussing. This is the final part of the wildest party for one year olds ever to happen.**

**Sorry for the delay in updating. Hopefully next week I'll be back on schedule.**

--

Chase walked into the room, which mirrored a re-creation from "Breakfast at Tiffany's", rubbernecking wildly through the crowd

Chase tried to make his way through the crowded room, which if anything mirrored a re-creation from _Breakfast at Tiffany's_, rubbernecking wildly for anything of recognition.

"Looking for something Robert?" Pamela asked, appearing out of nowhere.

"Oh, I'm missing a couple of children, and my wife." He quickly spotted Ethan, who was leaning against House on the couch again, except this time House was too passed out drunk to care.

"A bunch of nurses have Emily back there somewhere." Pamela pointed through a group of people where a child could easily be lost. She leaned into Chase, speaking low, as if she was revealing some big secret. "Have you noticed that Emily's a sweetheart with everyone except Allison?"

Chase looked at Pamela crooked-eyed, for he definitely noticed she wasn't feeling any pain. "Uh, yeah, I noticed that. Anyway, where is my wife?"

"Oh yeah, her." Pamela did a quick gaze all around, as if she was trying to remember where she last left her friend. "She was about three sheets to the wind last I saw her."

"That's okay, I'll keep looking." Chase pushed his way through the tight quarters, wondering how many of these people were actually at the birthday party earlier. It looked like there were a few party crashers, for he didn't recognize half of them. Then again, he didn't exactly know who Allison invited either. He heard the familiar voice echoing from the corner, and pushed his way through.

"Oh Allison," he said, noticing his completely wasted wife flopped in a chair, ranting with slurred words. Next to her was Jamal, who himself looked pretty hammered, and both were laughing profusely over something unidentified.

"Yo, it's Crocodile Dundee," Jamal said, causing another outbreak in laughter between him and Cameron.

"He's a wombat," Cameron clarified with a whisper, struggling hard to sit up straight.

Chase stared at his pathetic wife, unsure what to do with her. "You sure you don't need some air, or a bed?"

"Bed? Come on, the party's just getting started. My kids aren't even in bed yet."

"They didn't have vodka in their orange juice," Chase replied.

"I can arrange that. It'll help them sleep. Emily could use a good fix."

"Uh, that's probably child endangerment. I'll keep tabs on the kids, you keep enjoying your corner."

"Thanks babe," Cameron said, accepting with pleasure another glass of something. She didn't care what it was at this point.

Chase took in a deep sigh of hopelessness, for he knew the roller coaster of strange behavior Allison was capable of when this drunk. It was just like when she was pregnant. Now he had three children to take care of.

--

Foreman's eyes bulged out of his head the second he worked his way down the stairs. He closed his eyes, shook his head, and looked again just to be sure. He thought was watching a scene from _Breakfast at Tiffany's_. This wasn't what he was expecting at all out of a child's birthday party. He heard his wife's jovial voice coming from the center of the room. _I should of expected this with my wife around.._

"Wait, I know you. Eric Foreman, right?" Pamela exclaimed in pleasant surprise. She slapped him lightly on the arm. "Man, it's so good to see you. Long time no see."

Foreman's unimpressed glare let her know he didn't like the sarcasm. "I see you've managed to play cruise director again. This party has your fingerprints all over it."

"Someone had to liven this dull fest up. Lord knows Allison wasn't going to do it."

Foreman glanced across the room, finding a limp and droopy eyed Cameron giggling like a schoolgirl with his dumbass brother-in-law. "Uh, it doesn't look like she can do much of anything." He then looked at House, who had a sleeping toddler snuggled next to him. Both had their heads tilted back and their mouths open. He shook his head, for he thought he was seeing things again.

"There was cake earlier. I'll have to see if we saved you a piece."

"No, thanks-" All of a sudden, Foreman felt something soft and gooey splat on the back of his head. He reached back, feeling something sticky and squishy in between his fingers. He whipped around to see a grinning Jamal. "There's your cake brother."

He turned back to Pamela, nostrils flaring in anger. "Tell me I can kick his ass."

Pamela faked offense. "You haven't been here five minutes and you want to start a fight at a kid's birthday party?"

Chase came over to see what all the excitement was about. "Do I have to ask you to leave?" Chase asked Foreman.

"He threw birthday cake at me!" Foreman declared, pointing at Jamal.

"Oh right, you see, that's a normal thing here today. It is after all a kid's birthday party."

"You have any cake I can chuck at him?"

"Sorry, all out," Chase replied with regret, fighting the urge to bust out laughing.

Foreman clenched his teeth and grumbled, for he already had a long day and didn't need this crap. "You're all freaking crazy, you know that? I'll be in the bathroom, cleaning myself up."

Pamela came up to Chase and snickered as a disturbed Foreman stomped away.

"What's so funny?" Chase asked. "He's going to make things miserable for you later."

"Yeah, I know. It's so damned worth it though."

Pamela and Chase's conversation was interrupted by the sound of wailing next. While they had expected to hear such a sound if it was coming from one of the three children in the room, it wasn't. It was a woman, a very drunk woman. Chase rolled his eyes and headed to the corner. He towered over Cameron, arms folded, giving her the mother of all bitchfaces.

"I'm the worst mother in the world," Cameron cried, flicking a tear away from her face. Ramone produced a paper napkin, which Cameron graciously accepted.

"That's not true sweetheart," Ramone said, putting his hand on her shoulder. "The twins would be lost without you."

"My twins! I forgot all about them. They're probably boozing it up for all I know, just like their mom. I suck." She busted into more sobs.

"There there dear, it's okay," Ramone assured.

"You're trying to pacify a drunk," Chase said, appalled over Ramone's efforts. He reached forward and grabbed Cameron's arm. "Come on Allison, time for bed."

Fury flashed on Cameron's face. "You jerk!" She yanked her arm away, got up, and sloppily lunged forward, her fists loosely clenched all while pathetically attempting to swing them at her husband.

Chase easily restrained her and dragged her toward the stairs. "From sweetheart to bitch in .06 seconds."

"We're never having sex again!" Cameron angrily shouted. Chase rolled his eyes while guiding her up the stairs. Yep, exactly like when she was pregnant.

Brenda came over to Ramone while they watched their hosts disappear into the stairwell. "Mental note. Dr. Cameron is not a happy drunk."

"I don't think she's a happy anything right now," Ramone replied. "This was definitely not her day." Both paused for a few seconds in sad remembrance of their troubled colleague.

Brenda shook her head. "Come on, someone's getting a game of Jenga started. It's way more fun after having a few. I'm betting you won't make nine stories."

Ramone put his hands on his hips. "I can do Jenga with my eyes closed after drinking a case of beer. You're on sister."

--

"James," Wilson felt a nudge. His eyes were drifting shut. He glanced over to his side, to see House and Ethan still sound asleep. "Wait a second," he told Cuddy. He pulled out his camera phone and snapped the picture.

Michael was flopped on Cuddy's shoulder, asleep himself. "I think we should take him home now."

"What about our other child?" Wilson said, pointing at House.

"Leave him here. Chase will take him home, or let him stay on the couch."

Wilson wasn't sure if that was a great idea, until House snorted and started mumbling in his sleep. "Wilson's a pathetic loser…" His voice trailed off.

"That sounds like a plan to me," Wilson said, getting up and fishing out his car keys to take his family home.

--

Cameron cracked open her eyes and then quickly shut them, for the light filtering in was hurting her brain. She wiggled her head and the world began to spin, while her brain started the recollection process. _Rain, mud, party, cake, Pamela, Oh God…_ She shot up, and instantly regretted it for now not only was the world moving, but her stomach was as well. Through her barely cracked eyes she saw her husband sleeping next to her, still sound asleep. There was no sound of kids either, which had to be a rarity.

She rolled her legs over to hang off the side of the bed while clutching her forehead. Her mouth felt like Velcro. Through her squinting eyes she saw the time; 7:30 am. The last thing she remembered was, a distorted Jamal in her basement. _What happened before that?_ She was drinking orange juice. How could she... oh, that's right. She was drinking orange juice with her vodka. _Oh, that's gonna hurt today. _

She rose to her feet and shuffled in zombie like fashion out of the room. She still wasn't able to open her eyes all the way, but at least she could move without puking. So far anyway. Her eyes glanced into the nursery, where the twins were sound asleep, still in their clothes from yesterday. She slightly panicked, for maybe they drank the wrong juice and were still sleeping because of it. She shrugged the thought off though, thinking if that was the case, she'd take the gift of some moments of peace.

Carefully she crept downstairs, not wanting to alert her family, and to also ease her pounding head. The foyer and front rooms looked pretty clean. Maybe she won't have to clean up much from the party after all. She didn't have much time to enjoy that thought though, for her kitchen revealed a different story. It was piled high with stacks of garbage and empty bottles, as well as many dirty dishes stacked in the sink. Her heart sank and she bit her lip, for she wouldn't let it get the better of her. It was one room.

She glanced outside the kitchen window to see a half collapsed party tent in her backyard. The duct tape had given way, and half the roof hung on the ground from the bent poles. _I'm so not getting my security deposit back_. She had to rub her eyes real hard for what she saw next. There was a form of a person underneath the collapsed part of the tent. Before she decided to go outside and investigate, the wind blew hard flapping up the tent, revealing Jamal passed out on one of the tables. He didn't look dead. She wasn't in the mood to find out.

The door leading to the basement was wide open, and she thought she heard snoring. Pretty loud snoring. She was afraid to go down there, for she wasn't sure what horrors awaited. She glanced around, looking for a baseball bat or some type of weapon to defend herself, and spotted the poker near the fireplace. She grabbed the handle, and tiptoed gently down the stairs.

The closer she got, the more her nose was pelted with the offensive smells. A beer, wine, bodily fluids and strong liquor combination, with a hint of orange and lime. Now she definitely did want to puke. She gulped to contain her stomach and went on. It was dark, so as soon as she reached the bottom of the stairs she took in a deep breath, turned on the light and slid around the corner.

"Holy shit!" she exclaimed, with jaw falling to the floor. Her rec room looked like it had been hit by an F5 tornado. Garbage was everywhere and the floor was lined with beer cans, bottles, peanut shells and crushed potato chips. As she crept further in, still unable to comprehend the mass amount of carnage around her, the smell of vomit hit her. She glanced downward, spotting a small mess on the floor covered by paper towels, and that was enough to push her over the edge. She raced to her side door and flung it open, dropping to her knees as soon as she got outside so she could get sick on her lawn.

After a minute of heaving, she gained control and raised herself back up, only to witness more mayhem. The same assortment of beer bottles and cans littered her side lawn as well, along with party streamers, balloons, and toilet paper? _How did that happen? _Then, she saw a shoe sticking out from her bushes. Upon closer examination, she discovered a foot in that shoe. She got up, and stretched her neck out, giving her a closer view of what was there before jerking away in disgust.

"Fred?" It was her neighbor, passed out naked in her bushes. She didn't even remember inviting Fred, but she did remember letting some party crashers in after her third drink. She wandered back inside, her temper now starting to seethe. _How could the party have gotten this out of control?_

"Turn the light off!" She heard a cranky voice command her once she got back inside.

"House?" Cameron saw her former mentor, stretched out on her couch, looking very worse for wear.

"Some people are trying to sleep here!"

Cameron folded her arms, anger now boiling over. "You're passed out on my couch House."

"You suck as a hostess. Turn off the light."

Cameron huffed and walked over to the light switch, accidently stepping in something squishy in the process. She looked down to see birthday cake oozing between her toes. She let out a huge yell of frustration, hurting her own head in the process. That was the last straw.

She stormed upstairs, leaving a trail of squished cake on the floor. After going all the way up to her bedroom, she went in the bathroom, hosed off her foot and threw on a sweat suit. Then she went into Ethan and Emily's room to retrieve her preferred weapon of choice.

"What the?" Chase said, jumping out of his sleep after feeling himself get pelted with something. Sitting next to him on the pillow was the object in question, his son's wombat. He looked forward to see his livid wife standing at the foot of the bed. She was about ready to blow.

"I'm going out for the day. When I come back, I want this place spotless, my children fed and freshly clothed and all drunks off my premises! It's about time you took care of things for once you useless shit!"

She stormed out of the bedroom and stomped down the stairs. "What's with her?" An incredulous Chase shook off his jarring wake-up call. Then he heard the front door slam, shaking the house, followed by his children crying. He was in for a heck of a day.


	10. Fine

**a/n: I tried to post this last night after it went up on my LJ, but the submissions area was down. **

**Yes, I fell behind. I have two great excuses. First, it's spring. It's planting season, kid's baseball season, walking the new puppy season, etc. Second, and I'm not sure if everyone knows this, but I've started another life as a blogger. I'm now doing a feature for Supernatural on blogcritics and the last four weeks have been filled with new episodes and plenty of work for me. The season finale on Thursday stunned us all (in a good way), and the fandom has been pretty crazy over it all weekend. Now that the show is on summer hiatus, I can get back to some actual creative writing.**

So, as a result of all this, I didn't get back to this update until yesterday. I was able to put a full day into it. WARNING, this chapter definitely turns dramatic. Life in this universe isn't all fluff and fun, anyone who has read the other stories knows that! Anyway, I hope this one manages to satisfy, since this dramatic turn has been foreshadowed throughout the entire fic. Happy reading!

--

"So you aren't mad at me?"

"Yes, I still am, but I'm getting over it."

Pamela leaned back in her office chair, giving her friend a thorough look over. She didn't look dangerous, but she knew how quickly Allison's mood could turn. "Uh, I'm relieved??"

"I'm not plotting revenge Pamela. I should, but I'm not."

"I offered to help clean up when I came over, once I figured out Jamal was missing, but Robert wouldn't take it."

Cameron clenched her jaw, still perturbed about the whole mess. "He managed on his own. For some reason, the twins behaved for him. He even rented a carpet cleaner."

"Great!" Pamela said, hoping she was off the hook. Her enthusiasm was dashed though by Cameron's lingering resentful glare. "Uh, why are you here dear?"

"I'm trying to get my kids back in the hospital daycare. It seems they have a new director, so I can't bribe or blackmail."

"You want to go back to work?"

"If I don't, those children will die."

"What? Ethan and Emily are such sweethearts." She got a little scared when Cameron's evil eye more than disagreed with that statement. "You have a position in mind?"

"Robert and Foreman are ready for another doctor and I'm ready for a job."

"Okay then, consider your spots in the daycare reserved."

"It's that simple?"

Pamela smiled and pulled out a folder. "The provider's contract is up for renewal. I need to make sure they can meet our staff's needs."

Cameron smiled with relief, dropping some of her frosty exterior. "I knew I came to the right place."

Pamela put her folder away. "Now, out. I've got a meeting in here any minute."

"Oh really, with who?"

"Dr. Benson."

Cameron stared skeptically. "Dr. Benson, the marriage counselor?"

"It's official Trinity business."

Just then, Foreman walked through the door. "Cameron," he said, somewhat surprised to see her.

"I was just coming to see you guys. Looks like I'll be able to start sooner than later."

"That's good to hear. We could use all the help we can get." He turned to Pamela. "So what's this important meeting I need to be at?"

Pamela sheepishly grinned. "Goodbye Allison."

"Later," she said with a smile, closing the door behind her. That meeting had disaster written all over it.

--

"You're gonna let her get away with this trickery?"

Dr. Benson leaned back and shrugged. "Trust me Dr. Foreman, in all my years in the business, I've seen wives try every trick in the book. This one's pretty common."

"Call him Eric," Pamela said to the doctor.

"Call me Dr. Foreman!" Foreman put his hands on his hips, trying to figure out what to do in between his exasperation. A trick marriage counseling session was not going over well with him. "I suppose if I leave, you'll never speak to me again," he asked Pamela.

Pamela's sudden scowl had an easy answer for that. "If you leave, you'll never speak again!"

Foreman's eyes met hers for a brief stare down, before he sighed and sunk down with resignation in the chair next to her.

Dr. Benson settled himself in, and quietly let his eyes bounce back and forth between the two, examining their body language. After a minute he cracked a tiny smile and nodded.

"So, you think you have us figured out?" Pamela asked, noticing his visual assessment.

"Yep," Dr. Benson replied.

"This guy's a quack," Foreman said, standing up. Pamela's steely glare was enough to force him back down.

"I see it all the time in professional couples," Dr. Benson said. "You both have love and a healthy respect for each other, but that deep seeded individuality takes over and in driving toward those separate career goals you start leading parallel lives in your marriage as well."

"Did you get that on Oprah?" Foreman asked.

"Shut up," Pamela said, smacking the back of his hand. "Dr. Benson, what made you conclude that?"

"For one, you both stayed. Sure, part of the reason was from your influence over Eric, but he respected that. Two, fighting is okay, but I can tell from the way you fight. Neither of you are throwing insults at each other or being overly insulting. That's a good sign. Third, it's in your eyes."

Pamela and Foreman both looked at each other with massive confusion. "Our eyes?" Pamela asked.

"You both still have a connection. There's love, respect, yet also deep hurt."

"I thought they were just brown." Pamela said, triggering a chuckle from Foreman. She laughed as well.

"You see," Dr. Benson said, "you're still capable of sharing a laugh."

"Okay," Pamela said, getting over her giggles, "tell me how we get through the problem that he doesn't want to be with me."

Foreman rolled his eyes and turned away. He wasn't about to address that issue here, in front of this questionable therapist and his irrational wife.

"You see," Pamela said, pointing to Foreman in accusation, "he won't deny it."

"I want to be with you," Foreman mumbled in the other direction, not being very convincing with that statement.

"Well you have a funny way of showing it," Pamela responded on full offensive.

"Now you two are caught in classic four horsemen behavior." Dr. Benson said, shaking his head and leaning backward in his chair. He expected the look of confusion from his two clients over that statement. That usually got 'em every time. "There are four classic negative interactions between married couples. They are called the four horsemen. There's criticism and contempt, neither of which I've seen yet. What I have seen is the other two, defensiveness and stonewalling. Pamela, you're basically saying, 'the problem isn't me, it's you.' Eric is responding by not responding. He's tuning out."

"So what should I say to this jerk?" Pamela asked with raised voice. She noticed the scolding look in the doctor's eyes. "That was contempt, right?" The doctor nodded.

"There's an easy trick to overcoming these negative statements. Pamela, point out a positive quality about Eric, and then Eric, you do the same. It can be anything large or small."

Both paused for a minute, giving each other an uncomfortable glance before looking away and thinking more. They kept changing positions in their seats, hoping that the extra moment would get the mind jogging. "He's a great doctor." Pamela said.

Both Dr. Benson and Pamela stared down Foreman next, who sighed in disgust over the pressure. "She's the liveliest woman I've ever known."

"Lively??" Pamela said in a defensive voice before taking in a deep calming breath, forcing herself to back off with the attitude. "Thanks," she said calmer but uncertain voice, hoping he meant it as a compliment.

"Okay," the doctor said, reaching into his briefcase, pulling out some papers. "Looks like we have the perfect starting point. You two need to start rebuilding fondness and admiration for one another."

"How do we do that?" Pamela asked. She still tried to remain calm, even though the look of disinterest on Foreman's face triggered every impulse inside to smack the crap out of him.

He handed them both several sheets of paper. They were questionnaires and exercises for each to fill out and share with another. "Enhance your love maps? The emotional bank account?" Pamela asked while reading through the titles.

Foreman was bothered by another piece of the packet. "A seven week course in fondness and admiration?"

"I know, it seems pretty intimidating and silly, but give these exercises a try. You'll be amazed how it triggers inside what made you fall in love with each other in the first place. Do either of you think of fond memories about each other these days?"

Pamela and Foreman both looked down in guilt. The doctor had them there. Pamela meekly looked at her husband. "I suppose it can't hurt to try."

The doctor didn't look all that impressed. "That's where couples fail with this, using the word 'try'. I recommend you both get out those fancy electronic gadgets of yours and set up appointment times with each other. Twice a week ought to do it. Only a life threatening emergency should get in the way of these appointments."

Pamela and Foreman both looked at each other apprehensively, and pulled out their Blackberries. "I'm free at seven this evening," Pamela said, examining her calendar.

"Make it eight," Foreman said. "I have a client at six."

Pamela set the appointment in her calendar. "Eight o'clock it is." She glared at Foreman, who then put the entry into his calendar.

"Good," the doctor said. "Remember, if for some reason you can't make these appointments, the first thing you do is reschedule as soon as possible. Treat this like you would any patient with an illness. It's important."

"Yes doctor," both Foreman and Pamela said.

"Okay then." The doctor got up, grabbed his briefcase, and headed for the door.

"Wait," Pamela said. "Shouldn't we be setting up another appointment with you?"

"Call my office and set something up if you think you'll need more help. Otherwise, you've gotten enough to get on your way."

"Thank you Dr. Benson," Pamela said with an appreciative grin. He gave her a soft smile in return and left.

Pamela dropped her head back and took in a deep sigh, while Foreman got out his Blackberry. "What are you doing?"

"Do we really need to keep this appointment this evening?"

"Hell yeah." Pamela cursed to herself, for she should have known that Eric wouldn't take any of this seriously.

"He's a quack. He probably got all that out of an article in Cosmo."

"I don't give a damn. We need to try something. What's the harm?" Pamela noticed the volume rising in her voice.

"This won't work."

"How do you know? Ever done marriage counseling before? Ever allowed yourself to share your life with someone before?"

"I'm sharing my life with you."

Pamela slapped the palm of her hand on the desk in deep frustration. "No Eric, you're not. Being in the same room together isn't sharing. That's all our marriage is reduced to these days."

"What do you want from me?" Foreman shouted back.

Pamela felt like she had been pierced by daggers, turning away to hide any pain, choking back the rush of emotions building inside. She told herself that losing it now wasn't going to get her anywhere and she had to be strong. She bit her lip, but her eyes watered anyway.

Foreman's head and shoulders drooped, for he'd seen her act like this before. He said something wrong. He moved toward her and gently placed his hands on the tops of her shoulders. They didn't soften or welcome his touch and his heart sank, feeling guilty for hurting her feelings. "I'm sorry Pamela. We can talk tonight at eight."

She nodded and wiped away a tear that had slid down her cheek. She felt her husband's hands slide away, and heard his footsteps softly shuffle out of the office. She sighed and choked back her tears, before turning toward the desk and pressing the intercom of her phone.

"Angela, cancel the rest of my appointments for the day. I'm going home sick."

--

Foreman grabbed the chart and was ready to head into the exam room, when he felt the folder yanked from his hand behind him. He turned around to see a livid Chase. "What the-"

"You're an ass, you know that."

"You've told me. Can this wait, I have a patient."

"No, you don't. I'm taking this one. You're going home to your wife."

Foreman sharply exhaled, guessing that Cameron knew what the meeting was about and that Pamela couldn't keep her mouth shut. "What did she tell you?"

"Her assistant called Allison worried, because apparently Pamela went home sick."

Foreman didn't seem too worried. "I'm glad she called her. Cameron's probably giving her the shoulder she needs right now. They'll cry, eat ice cream and it'll all be okay."

Chase's irritation grew worse. "How clueless are you?" Chase moved in closer, trying hard to control the volume of his voice. "Pamela wouldn't talk to Allison at all."

"She wouldn't talk? When she withdraws, her state of mind is at rock bottom."

"That's not all. She said was everything was _fine_."

Foreman's eyes grew wide. "She said everything was _fine_?"

Chase nodded, his face reflecting the same concern.

"Crap." Foreman knew this wasn't good. "I better get home now."

Foreman briskly blew past Chase and headed toward the exit. "Don't come back until tomorrow," Chase shouted as Foreman slammed the door behind him.

--

Foreman raced into the house, knowing Pamela was likely in one of two places in the house. Her car was in the driveway, so she was home. He went straight for the great room, and saw no sign of Pamela, but did spot the open bottles on the bar. It was exactly what he thought she'd do. He ran up the stairs and into the master bedroom, freezing for a second over what he saw. There was a half empty bottle of scotch next to the bed, and Pamela on her back, passed out in the middle of it.

"Pamela" he said, moving to the bed and scooping her in his arms. He cradled her head in the crook of his arm and tapped her cheek lightly. "Pamela, wake up."

She let out a small groan in response, but refused to open her eyes. Foreman jostled her a little harder this time, worried when her skin felt cool to the touch. "Pamela, I need to know how much you drank." He shook her again. "Please wake up." Her eyes drifted open at half mast, giving him the opportunity to check her pupils. The sluggish reaction bothered him. He checked her pulse, finding it slow and erratic, and her breathing was somewhat shallow.

He held onto her as she drifted off again. He wasn't sure what to do. Normally heavy intoxication like this involved a hospital visit, but he was concerned how it would look, the number two admin in the hospital chain being hospitalized for such a condition. She'd get mad at him for that. He still wasn't sure if her state was as serious as he thought. "Pamela, you need to talk to me."

She roused again, glaring at him with her glassy eyes before closing them. "Time for our appointment?"

Her speech was badly slurred, but that small glimpse of coherence eased his panic. Maybe she didn't need the hospital after all. "No," he answered.

She fell out of consciousness and he gently placed her back on the bed, making sure she was on her side. He pulled out his phone. "I need help. Can you bring some oxygen and IV fluids to my house?"

Foreman pulled the phone from his ear to protect himself from Chase's loud reaction. "What's wrong?"

"Alcohol poisoning. I'm guessing a .3. I can't bring her to the hospital for obvious reasons. We can take care of her here."

"I'm on my way," Chase said, abruptly hanging up.

Foreman put his phone back in his pocket and pulled the chair from the corner next to the bed. He took his place by his wife's side and ran his hand along her side, heartbroken over how bad she looked. He honestly didn't know how to fix things and couldn't stand to see her this way. "Fucked up, neurotic, insecure, and emotional. Everyone near you knows that _fine_ is bad in your world. I didn't think it was this bad though. Why didn't you tell me you were feeling that way earlier? I'm sorry, I should have known, but I didn't. Please forgive me."

He sat and solemnly watched her prone condition, guilt consuming every part of him. "I remember why we fell in love Pamela. We wanted to care for each other when we got old." His voice cracked and the pain inside overwhelmed him, causing tears to well in his eyes. He knew the words were lost on her, but maybe saying them now would make it easier later. He clutched her hand and fought back his tears, not letting go until the doorbell rang.


	11. A Better Day

**a/n: I'm delusional. I actually thought my life would slow down for some reason. No such luck. Here's the latest chapter, and it's one of the shorter ones. It is a nice little transition that wraps up last chapter's drama before moving on to what I'm calling the final arc. Yes, only a few more chapters and this story is done.**

Anyway, happy reading, and thanks so much for keeping up with this story and especially thanks to those sending comments. I might be slow in replying these days, but I still treat each comment with much honor. 

**--  
**

"Pamela, can you hear me?"

Chase watched intently as her head rolled against the pillow for an inch, then stopped. He hung on for a few more seconds, hoping for other signs of life.

"Pamela, time to wake up," Chase said, giving her cheek a light tap this time. A few seconds later the rest of her body followed her head in slight movement.

"Robert?" her grainy voice asked, while her eyes stayed shut. She buried her nose in her pillow, recognizing the familiar spring fresh scent. She always loved that smell, but her foggy mind was trying to figure out why that common comfort and Robert were in the same room. Her eyes cracked open in hopes of uncovering the mystery. "Why are in you my room?"

Chase let out a relieved smile, for any sign of coherence was good. "I bet you feel like crap," Chase replied, examining her pupils carefully with the light pen.

"Understatement." She looked beyond Chase's shoulder to see her husband sitting next to the bed. He didn't look so good either. "What time is it?"

Chase glanced at the bedside clock. "One am."

She looked at her arm, noticing the IV taped to it. She followed with her eyes the bag all the way to the side of the bed. "Am I sick?"

"Drunk," Foreman answered bluntly.

Pamela nodded and closed her eyes, it all coming back to her. She stopped moving her head, for it caused things to spin. "You mad at me?"

"Who, me or him?" Chase asked, pointing to Foreman.

"Both. Probably think I'm a pathetic boozer."

"Pamela, you can't turn to whiskey every time you're feeling lonely," Foreman said still wrestling with concern verses anger.

"And you can't turn to your job."

Chase got up, knowing never to get in the middle of a martial issue. "Pamela, you're going to be fine. Get some rest, and I'll check back with you in the morning."

"I can catch you at work."

"You're not going to work tomorrow. Your office has already been notified that you're taking another sick day. You have the flu."

"No argument from me. Good night Robert." Pamela rolled over to her side as soon as she felt the IV removed from her arm.

Chase turned to leave, giving Foreman an expression of warning to let her rest. Foreman nodded in understanding, giving Chase his cue to go. Foreman sighed and went over to his wife, giving her a kiss on her forehead. He straightened back up and went to leave the room.

"Coming to bed?"

"I was going to take the guest room, give you your rest," Foreman answered.

"Get in bed. You need sleep too."

Foreman cracked a sad smile. "Okay, I'll be right there."

--

Chase sat at the edge of the bed and took Pamela's blood pressure, not saying much of anything since he arrived. The only words he spoke let her know how she was doing physically, and each reading was normal.

"I'm sorry Robert."

Chase was surprised to hear such words. "You don't have to apologize to me."

"No, I don't. Still, I think I've done something to offend you."

"Nope." Chase removed the cuff. "BP is 120/76. You're good."

"No, I'm not Robert. Come on, you've had experience with this sort of thing. I am I drunk? Should I be in some sort of program?"

Chase relaxed his rigid stance, realizing that she was still a friend. "No Pamela. You're not like that."

"Then what's wrong with me?"

Chase took a long pause, struggling to find the right words. He knew the difference between someone using alcohol as a vice and for complete withdrawal. It was hard sometimes to explain that difference. "Nothing's wrong. You're just going through some stress. It's normal. We all have our own ways of dealing. So you got careless. You'll learn from it."

Pamela nodded, accepting that he might be right, but that didn't stop some tears from rolling down her face. She wiped them away and sucked in a deep breath, forcing herself to pull it together. "I still wonder how my parents and Eric's parents managed to stay together for all those years. Eric and I barely have two years in and its falling apart."

"It's not as bad as you think. Marriages aren't fairy tales. They're work."

"How about you and Allison? You guys fight. How are you two managing to stay together?"

Chase shrugged. "Easy. We fight. I let her vent her frustrations, and then its all good. When she needs space I give it to her, when she needs support I'm there for her."

"The kids had to change all that."

"The kids have changed everything. We juggle far more in our lives than ever before, but that core understanding in our relationship has never changed, and hopefully never will. If it does, then maybe she'll have to trick me into marriage counseling."

Pamela chuckled slightly. "That was probably a dirty trick. Is Eric still mad? Is that why you're taking care of me and not him?"

"No, doctors have a rule. We shouldn't care for family members unless it's an emergency. Granted I break that rule all the time, but Foreman is more level headed than I am. He's worried sick Pamela. I could hear it in his voice when he called me."

"We do love each other, but how do we learn to talk to one another?"

Chase stood up, giving her a reassuring smile. "That's the mystery for the ages. When you find out, let me know. Just take it easy today, and deal with the issues tomorrow. Allison's going to be by later. You girls can vent about Foreman and me all you want then."

Pamela grabbed his hand, her face full of appreciation. "Thanks Robert."

He gave her a gentle nod and left the bedroom, heading down the large open staircase and into the office. Foreman was behind the desk, trying to focus on papers, but he didn't look like he was getting very far. "She's all set. Maybe you should stay home today too."

"I might come in when Cameron comes over. We'll see if my being here helps or hurts."

"Fair enough." Chase left the office, and Foreman heard the front door open and close.

He glanced at the paperwork one last time and sighed. Work would have to wait. He raised himself up and made that long slow climb up the stairs, careful not to make any jarring noises. If Pamela was asleep, he didn't want to startle her.

He cautiously moved through the bedroom door, only to find an alert Pamela sitting up in bed waiting patiently for him. He dropped his caution and moved farther into the room. "You knew I'd come see you."

"Woman's intuition. We can read you men like a book."

Foreman took his place on the edge of the bed, and gently placed his hand on her thigh. The feeling of the warm blanket covering it was nice. At least she was cozy. "I'm sorry Pamela."

"I am too Eric. I don't know what got into me. Yesterday just felt like the end of the world."

"You're okay, that's all that matters."

Pamela's heart sank, for she could see and feel every bit her husband's concern. The guilt welled up inside and her head dropped in shame. She slid her hand on top of his, the touch swarming her with the warmth that had been missing between them for so long. "What happened to us Eric?"

"I don't know. That quack was right about one thing though. We aren't too far gone."

"I want to go to the mountains."

"Okay, we can do that."

"You aren't going to ask why?" Pamela asked, surprised by the answer.

"I'm sure you have your reasons."

She cupped his chin with her hand, shaking his head slightly while giving him a small smile. "Wow, you do learn fast."

Foreman pulled his Blackberry out of his pocket and worked through the menus with his thumb. "I'm free at seven tonight. Ready to reschedule our appointment?"

She released his chin and grinned. "You bet. It seems I'm free all day."

Foreman put the Blackberry back in his hand. "Good, its all set." He crawled over her to the other side of the bed, reaching out and pulling her toward him before settling down. "I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted."

She adjusted herself to mold perfectly with him, and remembered why they fell in love before falling back asleep.

--

"So, you're doing okay?"

"Yes dear, never been better." Pamela adjusted her sunglasses, letting the warm rays absorb every inch of her exposed skin. She reached for her drink on the table next to the chaise lounge she was stretched out on by the pool. She noticed Cameron's skeptical look out of the corner of her eye.

"Lemonade. Don't worry, I'm on the wagon for a while." She took in a deep breath, realizing she hadn't relaxed like this in a long time. "So where are the kids again?"

"Neighbor's house. Since I caught Fred naked in the bushes, his wife has been more than willing to do us some favors. I think it's a price for my silence. Anyway, Emily seems to like her."

"I hate to break it to you, but Emily likes everyone but you."

Cameron lightly scowled, refusing to explore that topic any further. "I start work on Monday. For someone who's been 'sick', you work fast."

"One call to my assistant is all it took." Pamela sunk into the chair further, refusing to think anymore about work. This was the vacation she wanted to have in Japan. She should have just gone to her backyard instead. "Pardon me if I don't talk. I've melted into this chair."

Cameron gave her a long gaze. "You do look okay. Robert said Foreman took tomorrow off. You guys got something planned?"

"We're going to the Poconos. He promised to book me the tackiest room possible. I'm hoping for mirrors on the ceiling and a heart-shaped tub."

"Wow, Foreman agreed to that?"

"The getaway weekend was his idea. All I told him was that I wanted to go to the mountains. That technically could have been done in half a day."

Cameron was still puzzled. "Why the mountains?"

"Because they're there."

Cameron pondered that answer and shrugged. "Good enough for me."

--

Chase was already home with the kids by the time Cameron got back. She had to admit, sitting by the pool all afternoon sipping lemonade wasn't a bad way to pass time, even if Pamela was a little too calm to her liking. Ethan wobbled over to her and clutched onto her thigh in greeting and support.

Her heart melted and she gave him a huge smile. "Isn't it great how far his walking has come in only a few days?"

"Yeah, I think his sister has a lot to do with that." Chase came over and kissed her on the forehead. "She's an evil, I mean positive influence."

Cameron looked across the kitchen to the family room where Emily was playing. She didn't give her an acknowledgement either way. "You don't have the gate up?"

"They're behaving for some reason."

Cameron didn't even want to know why, even though she suspected that it was a conspiracy against her. "Pamela's doing fine. She sent her thanks again for taking care of her."

"Foreman told me about the Poconos thing. Sounds like a good idea."

Cameron lifted up Ethan and squeezed him tight, while he gave her an excited smile. At least one of her kids was affectionate. "About that, it got me to thinking. We need to plan a family vacation."

Chase looked at her confused. "We got back from a vacation a few weeks ago."

"A family vacation. You, me, the kids, some place for family fun."

"Sure, why not. What did you have in mind?"

"I have no idea. I'm sure there are websites that will tell me though."

Chase thought about it some more, thinking the idea was half bad. "We can probably take one at the end of the summer."

"Great, I'll start planning." Cameron felt a tug at her leg. Considering she was still holding Ethan, she was shocked that Emily would give her any sort of acknowledgment. She gave her daughter a big smile. "Yes sweetie?"

Emily giggled and ran away, down the hall that currently wasn't blocked by a gate. Cameron noticed the large smudge on her pants, something that looked like chewed up animal crackers in the shape of a toddler's hands. She let out a small frustrated yelp and handed Ethan off to Chase.

"How about we leave her at home?" Cameron said before walking briskly down the hall after her little hellion.


	12. Trying Something Different

**a/n: Thanks everyone for your patience. It's summer, so, you know the drill. Busy life, lots of priorities, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, I hope this is worth the wait. This is a very cutesy Pamela/Foreman chapter. It will likely be the last showcasing them. There are about two to three chapters left in this story, and the next ones will be Chase/Cameron focused. Happy reading!**

**--**

The fresh scent of fake rose air freshener hit them in the face as Foreman opened the door. "Oh, how fragrant. It's like we're in a rose garden."

Pamela laughed at his sarcasm. "It's a strange smell for a log cabin. I would have expected fake pine." They dragged their bags into the country room, the wheels from Pamela's bag catching on one of the grooves of the wooden plank floor. With a quick yank, the bag flew forward, pushing it and Pamela forward.

"This is nice," Pamela said, with an uncertain voice, looking around at the place. She had to admit that they went all out with the furniture made of pine logs and dark blue cushions with bears and trees on it. It wasn't until she moved closer that she also saw the bear wearing a hat and the name "Smokey" randomly displayed.

Foreman smiled at the full height rock fireplace. Exactly what he requested. There was even firewood stacked there, and some starter logs. "We can build a fire."

"A fire? You mean there isn't a switch that turns it on?"

"In the mountains, they burn fires the old fashioned way, with real wood and flames."

"Have you ever built a fire before?"

"Sure, once, in boy scouts."

"You were in boy scouts?"

"Yeah, why does that surprise you?'

"Uh, because I never saw a boy scout in the ghetto. At least one that wasn't going for his automated weapon badge."

Foreman smiled and picked up their bags, retreating to the small bedroom in the back. The bed had an old metal frame, and the thin mattress sagged a lot in the middle. "Cozy," he said to himself, retreating back to the other room.

Pamela stepped in to kitchen. A few of the overhead cabinets were missing doors, and the rest of them had the white paint mostly missing, showing off the grey streaks from the aging wood. The grey slate countertops were chipped here and there, but actually didn't look too bad. "They're certainly going for authentic." She turned on the old and semi rusted faucet, pleased that at least the water came out as hot or cold.

"Hey, a kitchen, pretty cool," Foreman said behind her. Pamela turned around with a big grin, doing her best to not make it look fake. "This place, it's so…rustic."

Foreman came over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, so what do you want to do now?"

Pamela shrugged. "Watch some TV?"

"No TV here. The rabbit ears don't work over the mountains."

Pamela nodded, wishing she'd at least loaded some videos on her iPod. Unless the mountains ruined that too. "Okay. How about you and me on the couch then?"

Foreman agreed and they went into the main room, both sinking onto the couch at the same time. They looked at each other and smiled, then looked away, both of their eyes wandering around the room to take in the surroundings. Pamela took in a deep breath and exhaled, followed by Foreman doing the same.

"So, you said your patient is doing much better?" Pamela asked.

"Uh, yeah. Chase should have her discharged by morning."

Pamela nodded and looked away again, crossing her legs to get a little more comfortable. When that position wasn't, she switched legs. The uncomfortable silence hung in the air for another minute.

"What do you think you want to do this weekend?" Foreman asked Pamela.

"I guess we can check with the main office. I'm sure there's some brochures."

"I know I saw a canoe place on the way in. We can do some hiking too."

"I'm open to anything." Pamela wanted to give him credit for trying, but she suddenly wondered why she wanted to come to the mountains. So far they were boring.

They both continued to look around for a few moments in silence. "What I'd give for some board games, or a deck of cards," Pamela said, noticing that they went out of their way to make the place devoid of entertainment.

"I've got Freecell and Bubble Breaker on my phone," Foreman offered, not getting an enthusiastic reaction from his offer.

Pamela buried her head in her hand, smiling over how ridiculous this situation was. "Wow, we're all about the romance." She reached over and fished through her bag, pulling out some papers.

Foreman sighed, for he knew what she was up to. "I see you brought the marriage exercises. You want to do that now?"

"Hell no," Pamela said. "I read through it all again, and it was a bunch of crap. I needed this." She showed him the magazine.

"Cosmo?"

"Honey, you don't need a therapist in this day and age. Cosmo has all the answers. Look at this one." She pointed to the article in question.

"Five ways to reconnect with your spouse?"

"You see, that's all we need."

Foreman couldn't avoid giving his wife a skeptical glare as he flipped through the pages to the article in question. He began reading the list in order. "Schedule a regular date night."

"See it's not so bad. What night would you like to have? Don't say Friday or Saturday either, for that's too typical."

"Uh, how about Tuesday? Nothing happens on Tuesdays."

"Done. Come on, read another one."

Foreman read the next one, not exactly sure what to make of its vagueness. "Be positive."

"Yep, a positive attitude around each other is important. For example, let's take that ugly brown suede jacket of yours. Instead of me saying something like it makes you look like a ferret, I'll bite my tongue and say, 'It brings out the animal in you'." Pamela giggled to show she was kidding, and Foreman laughed along with her a second later. She did have a point.

He pointed to the tacky trinket hanging around her neck. "Okay, that necklace of yours is a testament to bourgeois taste."

"I told you this was easy! What's next?"

Foreman read the next item. "Let things go."

Pamela reached over and kissed him on the cheek. "I forgive you for dumping me in Japan. I still don't know why you did it, but I'm willing to let it slide."

Foreman felt his heart sink into his stomach. "I'm sorry baby. I left because-"

"Shh," Pamela said, holding her finger up to his lips. "I don't need to know. It's behind us. Now move on." She pointed to the magazine as he stared at her, still willing to give an explanation. He gave up and went onto the next item.

This one caused his eyes to pop out. "Buy a Jacuzzi? Huh, this actually makes sense. It says that when couples sit in a Jacuzzi, they sit and share how their day went."

"We'll be getting that quote next week. We should have had one by the pool by now anyway."

Foreman nodded in full agreement, and went onto the last one. "Do something together neither of you have done before?"

Pamela almost jumped with excitement. "This is the fun part. Guess what we're doing tomorrow?"

"What?"

"We're going antiquing."

"Antiquing?" Foreman lowered his head and shook it, trying to get his bearings from the surprise. "Wow, I never saw that one coming."

"Why not?"

"I don't know. With you, I would have expected rock climbing or bungee jumping."

"Do I look like Johnny Knoxville? Stupid stunts aren't my style."

"Why'd you want to come to the mountains then?"

"Because they were here."

Foreman laughed, and then gave his wife a big hug. "Antiquing does sound less dangerous. I have to admit, you're never boring. Forgive me for being such a jerk lately."

"I forgot all about that, remember? We start new right now." Her eyes wandered over his shoulder to the fireplace across the room. "Weren't you gonna build me a fire?"

Foreman released her, smiling over the fact she wasn't going to let that slide. "I believe I did." He got up and went to build the cozy fire that they would sit in front of all evening.

--

"I never thought I'd have so much fun with store owners." Foreman and Pamela walked toward the car, with Foreman carrying a nice floral vase from 1850. It didn't look all that different to him than what he'd get at Walmart for six bucks, but Pamela liked it, so it was theirs.

"I can't believe there's still people who get all tense and suspicious when a black person walks in. Did he think I was going to lift one of his precious pieces of junk?" Pamela said.

Foreman laughed. "I know, imagine his surprise when we actually bought something nice and the credit card went through."

"I might go back and blow his mind some more later. How about we go in there, start playing with his stuff, and go all tough on him if he objects?"

"I think that might result in a call to the cops." They got to the car and Foreman loaded their purchase into the trunk, and then shut it.

Pamela rubbed her hands in delight. "Okay, now it's time for our contest. We go in that store and the person to find the tackiest antique wins."

Foreman folded his arms. "Why do I think you have an edge on me in this category?"

"Because you are a wise man."

Foreman held out his elbow, and they walked arm in arm into the next store, the musty odor of the place hitting them in the face.

"Oh, this place smells like death," Pamela joked. She wandered to the right, finding so many bad looking items it was hard to pick which was actually the best in the worst category. She had to constantly remind herself there was a line between tacky and ugly.

Foreman went in the opposite direction, and spotted his item right away. Good thing too, for he didn't think he could take too much of this junked up place, smell and all. He chuckled to himself as he held it in his hand. He was so winning this. He took the antique up to the counter and paid for it. "Can I have that in a bag?" He asked.

Pamela continued to rummage through the selection, determined to find that one thing that stood out from all the rest. Finally, she spotted it. She went to the register with her purchase, and found Foreman standing there with whatever he picked behind his back, looking all casual and pleased with himself. Pamela hid her item behind her back. "You're going down Cochise," she said, sporting a similar grin.

"We'll see about that. I'll be waiting outside." Pamela waited until he was out of sight to put the delightfully tacky object on the counter.

"That'll be three hundred dollars." The man said.

"For that? It's hideous."

The shop owner looked confused. "Why do you-?"

"Oh never mind. Why is it so expensive?"

"It's from early 19th century England. Hand carved in walnut."

"For that price, it should be carved in gold. I'll give you 100."

"That's too low."

"Look at the dust on this thing. It's obviously been here a while. I don't care if it's early British. They obviously had some crappy taste back then."

The man frowned, but accepted her point. "150."

"Sold," Pamela said, handing him her credit card.

--

After both Pamela and Foreman cleverly concealed their purchases for mutual revealing later, they decided it was time for dinner. "Looking at crap all day builds up an appetite, doesn't it?" Pamela asked as they walked down the sidewalk through the charming village. She couldn't remember the last time she had so much fun in an afternoon. The atmosphere was rubbing off on her.

"It most certainly does," Foreman replied.

When they turned around the corner, Pamela froze, with Foreman taking a few more steps before he realized his wife wasn't with him. He turned back around. "What?"

Pamela's face was gleaming in awe. She pointed her head toward the nearby box. Foreman stepped closer, and peeked inside. "Oh, you've got to be kidding me."

"Eric, they're puppies."

Foreman looked more attentively at his wife. "Oh, you're not thinking-"

Pamela stepped up to the woman and young girl near the box. "Are these Golden Retrievers?"

"Yep. Eight weeks old and dying for a home," the girl said.

Pamela reached down in the box to pet the sleeping dogs. There were four of them, all curled up on top of one another. "They're being so good."

"That's because they wore themselves out. You should have seen them earlier," the woman said.

Foreman wanted to drag his wife away, but he knew any such attempt would result in his attempted homicide. He had to admit, they were kind of cute.

"I had a Golden Retriever growing up. You can't get a more lovable dog." She looked at Foreman's uncertain stare. He was trying to play along, but was having trouble. "Did you ever have a pet growing up? Goldfish don't count."

"I didn't have that either."

While they were looking right at the dogs, one of them sat up, yawned with a tiny little squeak, and then opened his dark puppy dog eyes, giving them one of the most adorable stares either had ever seen. Foreman reached out and gave the animal a pet on his head. "He's a nice dog."

"Nice?" Pamela picked him up and cradled him into her arms. He instantly took to her, nuzzling his chin over her shoulder, continuing his heart breaking stare with those dark eyes. Foreman watched Pamela, and knew that look. She was in love.

Foreman sighed and accepted he wasn't going to win this. "How much for the puppy?" He asked the woman.

"50," she replied, smiling over how easily Pamela had bonded with the pup.

Foreman reached into his wallet and pulled out a fifty. "Really, we can keep him?" Pamela asked.

"He's got good taste in women. That should be my kind of dog." He handed the money to the woman, and the transaction was done. They walked down the street, with Foreman guiding Pamela, who couldn't take her eyes off the young pup.

"I want to call him Rocco."

Foreman reached over and scratched the little guy's chin. He stretched his neck up and closed his eyes, eating up all the attention. "He looks like a Rocco."

Pamela stopped, as a quick flash of reality set in. "Wait a second, this is getting serious. We're dog owners now. That's going to require some responsibility and commitment on our part."

Foreman smiled. "Yeah, I know."

"You sure, you're ready for this?"

Foreman looked into her eyes and saw how much this dog meant to her. He gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'm sure."

--

"I've never seen anything more precious," Pamela said, sitting on the floor while dangling a rope toy just above Rocco's jumping distance. He jumped and tried to bite it, but it stayed just a little beyond reach. He let out a high pitched "yip!", and jumped up again, those eyes fixated on his prize.

Foreman was on the couch, watching the two of them. He was just as enamored with her as the dog. He was feeling pretty lucky that they were able to find a pet store nearby and get needed supplies. For a cheap dog, Rocco cost them a mint at the pet store. Foreman noticed the pup come over and sit by his feet while he finished his piece of pizza.

"Oh Eric, give him some pizza crust."

"No. I'm not making him a table food dog. Besides, the guy at the pet store warned what happens when you feed puppies something other than their food."

Pamela grimaced. "Yeah, we don't want that type of mess." She watched the dog as he gave up on his food request and moved onto another chew toy. "Thank's Eric, for letting me get him."

"He's not yours. He's ours."

"Seriously?"

Foreman nodded. "Yep."

Pamela got up and took her place next to him on the couch. She gave him a soft, sweet kiss. "I never thought something like this could happen to us."

"What, own a dog?"

"No, share a dog."

Foreman smiled. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. Maybe for our next adventure, we can go to puppy training class together."

"It's a date." After taking another long loving look at their new pet, Pamela reached into her purse and pulled out the bad antique from earlier. "For you."

Foreman took the item from her, and unwrapped it. He giggled, looking at the small carved wooden shoe, done in old Georgian style. He remembered seeing them wear shoes like that while watching _Amadeus. _It had a lid, which when removed revealed the hollowed out inside. "This is the ugliest damn thing I've ever seen. What is it?"

"A snuff box. Pretty bad huh? It's worth 300 bucks, but I talked him down to 150."

"Great, we'll have to take it to Antiques Roadshow next time they're in town. It'll probably turn out to be a huge bust." Foreman went into the other room and retrieved his find. He handed it to her, bag and all.

"For me?" She said, acting all excited. She pulled it out and broke into laughter.

"Oh, it's perfect!" Pamela stared at the old compact, encrusted with turquoise and other cheap jewels, giving it the perfect dollar store look. She opened it to find the place where powder went, all with its unpolished silver glory. "Wow, this is in crappy shape. I love it."

"It's Bohemian style. That must be Austrian for ugly. The guy wanted 100. I pulled out a twenty and told him in firm voice that was all he was getting. I think I scared him."

Pamela laughed. "Oh, I don't think we're going to be welcome in that town again. So, I think you win in the tacky contest."

"Nah," he said admiring the ugliness of what she gave him. "I think it's a draw."

"Fair enough." Just then Rocco came over and sat in front on him, gazing with his puppy dog eyes. He let out a little "yip!" Pamela picked him up and placed him on both their laps. Foreman wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer and the newest member of the family.

"Our baby," Pamela said, cuddling into her husband as well as clutching their new pup.

"Our baby," Foreman said in agreement, petting Rocco on the head. Pamela leaned in and they kissed, both ignoring the "yip!" coming enthusiastically from the dog. He was ready for more love from mom and dad.


	13. The New Puppy

**a/n: Surprise! I was cleaning out my archives today and found this. I can't believe I had a nearly completed chapter and never found time to get back to it. I tweaked it and thought I had to share. I even started writing the next chapter, because a scene of inspiration struck me. **

**So I'm sure everyone is saying, "Yeah, fluffy2001, I remember her..." My blog has really taken off and is consuming all my free time, so fanfic suffered. Also, I don't watch House anymore. David Shore and Katie Jacobs officially killed my love of the show. Considering this fic is AU from season two though, I found I could easily finish it if I tried. **

**For those that don't remember what happened last chapter (like me!), Pamela and Foreman got a puppy. This involves a lot comical moments for everyone, especially the kids. Enjoy!**

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"We're going to where?" Chase did a double take, making sure he heard Cameron right.

"Rehoboth Beach. I rented a vacation condo for the week."

"Is it on the beach?"

"No, but only a few blocks. It'll be a lovely walk."

Chase tried to picture hauling a pair of screaming one year olds and all the equipment that deceivingly short distance, or what any beach in Delaware looked like for that matter. He even tried to remember if he'd ever been there. If he had, it was one of those "blink and you miss it" states.

"Is there a problem?" Cameron asked, wondering why he wasn't taking the news so well. She was actually excited about her little vacation deal.

"No," Chase said, unconvincingly. "It's just…well…can we surf there?"

"Surf? Probably not. You know none of the Atlantic coastal areas have great waves. It's a great place to take a family."

He nodded, offering a huge yet very insincere smile. "Sounds great."

"Really?" Cameron got all excited. "I thought you'd hate the idea."

"No, no, not at all. So what does the family do?"

"Kiddie rides, arcades, making sand castles at the beach, miniature golf…Oh and the outlet mall shopping there is second to none. Tax free." She practically squealed over the last part.

"Oh," Chase said, trying to keep the enthusiasm up, but the words "just kill me" went off in his head instead. "That should be fun. So when do we go?"

"In two weeks. It was one of those last minute specials. It seems the family that previously had the reservation had to cancel."

"Oh," Chase said with a tinge of relief. "That's too soon. I don't think I can get the time off."

"I checked with Foreman before I booked it. He heard where we were going, and said it shouldn't be any problem."

"Oh, I'll have to thank him for covering." Chase made a mental note to kill him as soon as he laid eyes on him.

"What's even better was House offered his team to cover. He heard about the vacation too and was happy to help."

"What a standup guy. I'll have to thank him as well." He needed to plot his revenge on House.

Emily worked her way over, the trademark wicked grin on her face. Cameron knew she was up to something, but still gave her the benefit of the doubt. "What is it sweetie?" Cameron saw what was in her hand and frowned.

"Where did you get those markers?" Emily giggled, and Cameron looked ahead. She screamed over what she saw. The wall was marked up pretty good, but the wall was the least of it. Sitting next to the wall was Ethan, and his entire hair, face, arms, and outfit was decorated with black and red marker. He looked up at a livid Cameron and cackled.

Chase turned around and put his head into his hand, fighting the surfacing of the laughter building inside him.

"Put her in her crib right now," Cameron sternly ordered Chase, just about ready to blow a gasket. "Let her keep the markers too. Maybe she'll do us all a favor and eat them."

"They're non-toxic," Chase said in clarification.

"Just take her upstairs!"

Chase quickly grabbed Emily and ran off up the stairs. Cameron went toward the kitchen sink, digging through the drawers for a washcloth.

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"Pamela!"

Pamela cringed, for she knew what this was about. "Yes dear?"

Foreman emerged from upstairs, muttering something under his breath, holding what a tattered shoe in his hands. He held up the shoe, somehow containing his fury. "Did your dog do this?"

"My dog? What happened to our dog? You shouldn't have left your shoes on the floor. Puppies like to chew."

"Isn't that what all those new dog toys are for?"

"He's pretty smart if you ask me. I would think fine leather would feel better on the teeth than rubber."

"Rubber costs three bucks. Those were $200 shoes!"

"Well didn't you waste your money."

"He should be tied up in the yard. He doesn't need to go into our room!" Foreman shouted, pointing to the dog at their feet, who was watching attentively with those deep dark eyes of shame.

Pamela picked up her new sweetheart, appalled by her husband's crankiness.

"He's our baby. He wants to go everywhere we go." She grabbed Rocco's chin, holding it high for Foreman. "How can you shun that precious face?"

"The yard Pamela."

"Fine, I'll let him play there for now. The kids should be here soon anyway."

"Kids?"

"Didn't I tell you about that? Oh, maybe I didn't. Allison is bringing over the twins, and Lisa's bringing over Michael. They're coming over to play with the puppy."

"So we're running a daycare now?"

"Uh, hello, cute puppy. Kids love puppies, and I just happen to have one to show off."

"Fantastic. I guess my quiet Saturday at home is shot."

"It'll be fun. Robert and James will be here too, the three of you can go in the media room and watch a game or something."

Foreman's face soured. "Is that all you think us guys do?"

"Yeah."

The doorbell rang, forcing Pamela to jump up with puppy tucked under her arm. "Come on Rocco, someone's here to see you."

Foreman rolled his eyes and headed back upstairs. He had to go put all his shoes up on the shelf.

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Emily was caught in a full blown belly laugh, lying on her back on the grass, not at all bothered by the fact that a puppy was on top of her and licking her face wildly. The more Rocco's tongue went to work, the harder her giggles became.

"Dag," Ethan said, standing next to his sister, trying to pet the doggie. Michael sat in his mom's lap and watched, his face bright by all that was happening.

"You want to pet the doggie?" Cuddy asked Michael, but he shied away, preferring to watch the others have the fun.

Cameron wasn't sure if she should step in or not. "He won't stop licking."

"Considering she had juice and cookies all over that face, he probably won't stop until the skin comes off," Pamela replied. She laughed when that riled Cameron a bit. "She's fine dear. Look at her! She's a pet person."

Cameron smiled, for she had to admit, considering her kids haven't been around pets much, they were taking to the puppy rather easily. "Maybe we should get a dog."

"You ain't gonna get that type of love with a cat, that's for sure." Rocco ran away from Emily, and jumped onto Pamela next. He began licking her face wildly. Now she started screaming and giggling, just like Emily.

"You have to admit, he's cute," Cuddy said. "Still, a pet would never make it in my house."

"That's because your house is too pristine," Pamela said, after Rocco ran off and starting running in circles around the yard. "I'm surprised your kid hasn't ruined it."

They watched as Ethan and Emily ran after Rocco, the puppy going back and forth, jumping up to lick one before going onto the other, knocking both over in the process. He kept going back and forth while the kids stood and laughed.

"Trust me," Michael is getting destructive. The way he's tearing around the house with his little walker, he'll be doing it on his own in no time. We've learned to put everything out of reach."

"Nope, I don't feel sorry for you one bit," Cameron said, pleased that she didn't have to deal with her kids right now. "With these two, I can't keep anything in the house at all. Even toys are suspect. Markers right now have been banned from my home."

Rocco ran back to the group of adults and went for Michael's face next. He only gave him one quick little peck, and then ran back to Ethan and Emily. Michael let out a little smile, and then clung to his mother tighter.

"See that," Pamela said. "I told you he was a smart dog. He's already figured out that Michael isn't sure about him." Pamela got up and grabbed a tennis ball. She went over to Ethan and Emily and showed them the ball. "Play fetch?" She threw the ball across the yard, and they all watched with delight as Rocco ran for the ball and came back with it proudly in his mouth. As Pamela reached for him though, he didn't surrender, hunkering down and playing a tug of war with his mouth as Pamela tried to get the ball. That made the kids laugh harder.

"Hmm, maybe a dog is a good idea," Cameron said.

Cuddy looked at her like she was nuts. "You want to add to your already out of control situation?"

"Look at them. Something's distracting them. The way I see it, it's subtraction by addition." Cameron smiled over Pamela continuing the same routine of fetch, and the kids still amused. They could go like this all afternoon.

"A dog is not a babysitter," Cuddy said, noticing Cameron's sparkly glare.

"No, but I could use all the help I can get."

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"We are never getting a dog," Chase declared, looking outside through the window, watching the out of control behavior of the puppy. "How much did Pamela guilt you to get that thing?"

"We were caught in the moment. I couldn't say no."

"That's the best defense in the world," Wilson said, leaning back into the overstuffed armchair, enjoying his drink. "You're a smart man."

Chase walked over to the bar refrigerator and pulled out a beer. "I've got three of them I can't say no to."

"Then you are so getting a dog," Foreman said with a chuckle. "So when are you leaving for vacation?"

"In two weeks."

"How does that work, anyway?" Wilson said. "You go away for a while just four months ago, and you're off again?"

"That's called private practice," Foreman said. "You should try it."

Wilson shook his head. "I'm too much of a slave."

"This is the 'family' vacation," Chase said with the quoting fingers. "Allison really wanted it. I think it's because she's having trouble bonding with our kids, especially Emily."

"She's too uptight," Foreman said.

"Yeah," Chase replied in full agreement, taking a drink of beer and coming over to join the other two.

Foreman chuckled more after finishing his beer. "I can just picture all of you, in confined quarters for a week. The ocean will get old after two days. I predict everything gets ugly come day three."

"I say day two," Wilson said.

"Hundred bucks?" Foreman challenged Wilson.

"You're on."

"So you two are betting over my vacation? How will you know?" Chase rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, Pamela. I should hide Allison's cell phone. Can I get on the bet too?"

"No!" Both Foreman and Wilson said in unison.

"Just so you both know, I've already worked on the backup plan. There's plenty of great bars within walking distance. Some have restaurants, so the kids can come with me when Allison starts to freak out."

"Your wife is actually going to let you take your kids to a bar?" Wilson asked

"No, that's why I'm gonna tell her the kiddie rides."

Foreman and Wilson looked at each other, trying to keep straight faces, and then both bust out laughing. "This is gonna get ugly."

Chase frowned and ignored their amusement at his expense. He leaned back, and glanced outside the window, watching the game of fetch and how much his kids were getting into it. He sat up and pointed his finger in declaration toward Foreman and Wilson. "We're still not getting a dog."

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"This is perfect," Cameron said, picking up Ethan. "We are so getting a dog."

Pamela took Emily into her arms, and walked with Cameron over to the table to give the kids their lunch. Rocco followed behind, taking his place right under the table, keeping his eyes fixed on both kids. "Dogs do make great vacuum cleaners. I haven't had a crumb in my house since he got here."

Cuddy came over and placed Michael down. "That's what maids are for."

Pamela scoffed. "A dog is cheaper dear."

After the kids were settled, with their food and drink in front of them, the three ladies took their seats nearby. "So what do you plan on doing at the beach for a whole week?" Pamela asked. "Sounds like it'll get old after two days."

"I say one," Cuddy added.

"There's plenty of great family stuff to do. Kiddie rides, miniature golf, a waterpark, and…" Cameron stopped, because she noticed both Cuddy and Pamela snickering.

"One hundred bucks it's less than a day," Pamela said to Cuddy.

"You're on," Cuddy said, bumping fists with Pamela.

"Hello, I'm right here," Cameron said, but the others ignored her.

"My ideal beach vacation involves a cabana boy and plenty of hot oil." Pamela got lost with far away eyes, smiling at the mental picture of that.

Cameron turned to Cuddy for backup, but found her gaze was lost too. "I'd rather go sailing. The wind in my hair, a well built man named Hector at the mast…"

"Tax free shopping!" Cameron said, trying to defend her choice.

Pamela shrugged. "You've got your paradise, I've got mine."

Cuddy and Pamela held back, but then both broke into laughter. "It's gonna get ugly…"

Cameron didn't pay attention to their teasing, for Emily quickly figured out that she could feed the dog by dropping her food to the ground. When the entire peanut butter sandwich was chucked, she jumped up to scold her.

"No!" She shouted at Emily, who wasn't deterred. Cameron didn't have much time to deal with her though, for Ethan started throwing food next. She rushed over and took his remaining food away.

"Dog huh?" Pamela said. "It'll become a fat one."

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Chase heard the phone ring. He pulled it out of his pocket with a curious look, only to roll his eyes when he saw who it was. Last he looked they were eating. "What?"

"Time to go. These kids need a nap, now."

Chase turned around and looked through the window to see Cameron holding Emily in one arm, grasping Ethan's hand with the other, and the diaper bag and purse slung across her shoulder. "Why didn't you walk the extra 100 feet to tell me?"

He saw Cameron's "eyes of death" reaction through the window. "Coming," he said, closing his phone and jumping from the couch.

"Gotta go." He did his best to tune out the hysterical laughter coming from Wilson and Foreman as he briskly walked away.


	14. The Family Vacation

**a/n: This is dedicated to purplepeopleeater78, who reminded me this week I've let this slide. This is the WIP chapter that I blew off for weeks. There's going to be one chapter after this, to wrap things up. In the meantime, its another completely absurd situation. Enjoy!**

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"I don't get it. We've been on the road for six hours."

"And that's a problem because…" Chase wasn't sure what the issue was.

"Look at this map that I printed out," Cameron said, holding out the pieces of paper. "How long does it say it takes us to get there?"

Chase glanced over quickly, careful not to keep his eyes off the road too long. "Three hours and 11 minutes. So we've had some setbacks."

"We're easily another one hour away. Some???"

"Look, your silly map didn't account for the twenty car pileup on the New Jersey turnpike, or the fact that the entire Philadelphia metropolitan area is under construction, or the fact that we have one year olds that both get car sick. Those multiple trips to Wal-Mart to get wipes and air fresheners add up you know."

Cameron grumbled under her breath. "It smelt like puke in here."

"You're a doctor, why does that bother you?" Chase pondered the idea of turning the car around and going back. Things were not getting off to a good start. "Look at it as we're having family time. Isn't that what vacations are all about?"

"Family beach time!" Cameron yelled. "That's what this vacation is all about."

Suddenly they slowed down and came to a stop, a sea of taillights ahead of them as far as the eye could see. "What's going on now?" Cameron asked in frustration.

"I'll ask that cop over there." Chase rolled down the window. "Excuse me, what's the hold up?"

"Out of towners. Don't you guys ever check the local festival calendars before coming through? It's the 30th Annual Melon Festival. The parade is going on right now. Traffic should be clear in an hour."

"This is the only main route through the state," Chase protested.

"Take it up with the suits in Dover. Not my fault they don't know how to plan their traffic issues. You could go back five miles and take the local roads."

"You realize there's a reason why tourists aren't encouraged to take those roads," Chase answered, rather leery over the suggestion.

"Ain't nothing wrong with the smell of chicken poop in the summer son. The scent's like petunias to us. Just head east and you're bound to hit ocean eventually."

Chase flashed a crooked smile. "Thanks for your help. He rolled up the window and settled back.

"What are you doing?" Cameron said very irritated. "We need to get on the alternate routes."

"I'd rather wait it out. Most side roads in these parts are old horse trails that twist and turn in between farm properties. I'm not taking my chances."

Cameron folded her arms, her face scrunched in displeasure. Chase ignored her, until Emily started screaming. A minute later, Ethan joined in. Chase turned his head toward Cameron, jumping at the sight the evil peering through the slits of her eyes. He sighed and put the van in gear, turning it around.

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"At least we're here," Chase said, trying to offer some optimism to his now stir crazy wife and to the two screaming kids in the back. They sat on the main strip on Rte 1, traffic moving at a crawl, people everywhere.

"We've moved half a mile in twenty minutes, and all I see is one strip mall after another. I could have got this at home," Cameron said.

"Yeah, but you wouldn't have gotten the wild back country adventure getting here. I swear I was humming "Dueling Banjos" at the site of some of the locals." Chase's smile dropped when he saw his wife wasn't in the mood for humor.

"Great, bring up a _Deliverance_ reference. It's not like our experience wasn't disturbing enough." Cameron clutched onto her throbbing head, doing her best to drown out the screams in unison of her cranky and tired children.

Chase watched the crowds piling into the outlet malls, it packed with so many cars and motorcycles no one was moving. "I'm not sure you're getting in your shopping today."

"Why are there so many bikes around here?" Cameron asked. "I know it's a nice day for riding but they must have flocked for specials."

"Here's our turn," Chase announced with mild enthusiasm, getting into the long turn lane that led to the village area. The wait for the turn signal triggered worse screaming from Emily and Ethan.

"Shut up!" Cameron hissed at her children. That somehow managed to stun them both into mild whimpering. Even Chase was impressed. After about five turns of the light, they were finally able to make the turn, moving in a slow crawl through the main part of town.

"This part seems very charming," Chase said, still trying to be upbeat.

Cameron maintained her scowl, just wanting to be there. "You need to turn right at the next light."

Chase nodded and did as instructed after they finally managed to reach the light.

"Go two blocks and then turn left."

He turned down the local street where the boutiques and tourist shops turned into small bungalows and vacation rentals. He was pleased to see they would be walking distance from everything. He made the left turn where he was supposed to, and promptly slammed on the brakes. He and Cameron's jaws dropped and eyes popped out wide, both too stunned to speak.

"Uh," Cameron said after a long pause.

"Um," Chase said in reply, not able to find words either.

In front of them was a scene of mass insanity, for the street was blocked by tons of motorcycles and the bikers that went with them. Loud music played and everyone had a beer in their hand. Some sort of block party was going on, and there was a sign hanging over head.

"Welcome to biker week?" Cameron said, finally managing to find words.

"I don't think we're going to find a place to park here. You sure you have the right street?" Chase asked.

Cameron nodded and pointed to a building on the right. "That's the place."

Chase's head fell onto the steering column. "That's why you were able to get a last minute deal."

"Shut up and see if you can't find parking a few streets over. We can walk back here."

"Oh sure, because a vacationing family of four won't stick out among this rowdy crowd."

Cameron gave him that silent look of death again, the one that told him he was really in trouble. "I'll find a place to park." He turned the van around.

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"You have to admit, it's a nice place," Chase said, getting settled into the two bedroom condo. Emily and Ethan had just been put down for a nap, and he was ready to go on a beer run, for the empty fridge was too troubling.

"A nice place? You hear that? They're playing Metallica." Cameron pointed to the floor, where the group of bikers staying below were having their own private gathering.

"The kids don't mind the music. They at least know good rock when they hear it."

Cameron sank onto the couch and buried her face in her hands. She really made a mess of things. Chase sat next to her and pulled her into his arms. "Don't worry, I sincerely doubt these bikers are going to be hanging out on the beach or the kiddie rides. There's still room for us. As a matter of fact, we'll likely have these areas all to ourselves since no family would come on biker week."

"Gee, I feel so much better."

Suddenly, Chase frowned.

"What is it?"

"They're playing Motley Crue downstairs. I hate that band." Suddenly both Emily and Ethan started screaming. "I've got it," Chase said, going in the back bedroom to tend to his children.

No matter what Chase tried, he couldn't calm either down. He even tried singing along to the bad song booming from downstairs. "Girls, girls, girls…" That made them cry harder. After a few minutes, the song ended, and the kids instantly calmed down. "Huh," Chase said, watching with amazement his kids fall back asleep as Motorhead came on next.

"Are they okay?" Cameron asked, watching a confused Chase come out from the bedroom.

"Yeah, fine. If I didn't know better, I think they hate Motley Crue too." Chase headed toward the front door.

"Where are you going?" Cameron asked.

"I'm going to get a beer, for I'm not sure I can take this day getting any weirder sober."

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Chase sat at the booth, nursing the high alcohol content beer. This was his third night in a row at the bar, and each night so far had been the same. The day of family activities went horribly wrong, Allison freaked out at the end of the evening, and he ended up here after the kids' bedtime to preserve his sanity. Work was less stressful.

Chase was lost in his daze when the surprise visitor slid into the space across from him. He should have been surprised, darn well shocked actually, but somehow, the way this vacation had been going, nothing could spook him anymore. He wasn't in the mood to give a greeting.

"Aren't you going to buy me a beer?"

Chase noticed the waitress come over. He held up two fingers and pointed to the table. She nodded and went off to fetch the drinks.

"You should marry her. She understands sign language way better than your wife."

Chase swiped his hand to his forehead and buried his face in it. "Let me guess House, you're here for biker week."

"Of course, I never miss it."

"You haven't taken a vacation in 10 years. Suddenly, you end up in the same two places I've gone to within six months at the same time. Do I have to get a restraining order?"

The waitress arrived with the beers, with House ignoring Chase to give her a wink. After taking a sip and savoring the flavor, he remembered the question. "Oh come on, you need me. I'm way more fun than Cameron and that daughter of yours will murder you in your sleep."

"Actually, she loves me. Allison is the one that should worry." Chase looked around, puzzled when he saw the bathroom door was open and the light off.

"You lose something?" House asked.

"No, you did. Did you leave Wilson back at the hotel?"

"Nah, he has a soft spot for your wife. He's taking care of business right now."

Chase shrugged, realizing House probably got the better end of the deal. Still something was bothering him. "It's Delaware, House. I should feel honored that you'd actually be willing to endure this place just to make me and my family miserable. You do care."

"Are you kidding? The best beer on the East Coast is right here. Plus the beaches are way cleaner here than in New Jersey."

"Oh, so you're honestly going to put on your trunks and feel the soft sand running through your toes?"

House smiled. "I will if you will."

Chase took a long gulp of the beer. "No problem. Trust me, you're the least of my problems right now. The bikers in the flat below us are doing their best to prevent any of us from getting sleep. Except Emily and Ethan both love sleeping to Motorhead and Metallica. They get fussy though every time 'Girls, Girls, Girls' comes on though. I'm still negotiating the music pact after 8pm, but all it takes is one drunk bastard to ruin all the fun."

"Bikers? Why didn't you say so? They're my kind. I'll make sure Motley Crue is never played again."

"Don't give me that. You'd be the drunk asshole that will put it on."

House went to defend himself, but then stopped. "Yeah, I would."

Chase's head dropped to the table, and House could see the stress oozing form him. "Oh come on. You mean to tell me you haven't had any fun?"

"Fun? Each afternoon I've had to feed dollar bills to a ticket booth attendant while Ethan cries at the end of each horsey ride screaming "Again, again!" Emily on the other hand decides to run off instead, weaving in and out between the roller coasters, spinning rides and fun houses scaring her mother half to death. Allison captures her for only a few minutes, and she finds a way to escape.

House smiled. "Yeah, that kid knows her mother's weaknesses. You got to be impressed with her deceitful nature."

"This morning we tried going to the beach. Why not dip the kids' toes in the water, Allison says. A huge wave comes out of nowhere and knocks Allison down, engulfing the kids in sea water. Both start crying, and now they don't want to go near the ocean. We tried playing in the sand, but Ethan wouldn't stop eating it, each time making him cry worse. Then Emily tried to bury him in it."

"Ah kids, aren't they so precious?"

Their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Wilson. "Stay away Chase. Your wife kicked me out in a fury. It happened the second Motley Crue came on downstairs. I didn't realize she hated them so much."

Chase didn't even need to point as Wilson took his place next to House. The waitress arrived with beer in hand. Wilson smiled in appreciation and took a drink. "Chase, you should marry that girl. She's-"

"Yeah, I get it," Chase replied, cutting him off. "I guess I need a longer cooling off period. Like Friday."

"Cameron told me she's been kicking you out every evening. She told me that after she threw a fake plant at me. I guess she thought I was you." Wilson savored the beer. "Wow this is the best-"

"We know," Chase and House said together.

The three sat in awkward silence for a few minutes, taking in the pleasant atmosphere and consuming more beer.

House turned to Wilson. "Chase said there's a great biker party going on every night under his place. You game?"

Wilson shrugged. "Yep." They both slid out of the booth and went on their way.

Chase pulled Wilson's beer over to himself and started double fisting the drinks.

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The load pounding at the door initially went ignored. A minute later after more pounding the door was kicked open.

"Hey, what's going on?" A burly man said, going to investigate. He was stunned to find the thin blonde man with the funny accent from upstairs wielding a baseball bat.

Chase came in and started waving the bat around at the crowd, who now came closer to see what was going on. They kept their distance though, seeing the crazed look in his eyes and knowing he meant business.

"Just calm down man," someone said, still staying away as Chase moved through the room, holding the bat out in a threatening manner, willing to strike whoever got near.

Chase backed up all the way to the stereo, which was blaring the loud music. He turned off the stereo and ejected the CD. He held it up, reading the embossed lettering, "Motley Crue" and dropped it on the floor, pounding the living hell out of it with the bat. Once the CD was cracked with a few pieces broken off, he regained his composure and gave a nervous smile to the stunned crowd.

He reached over, put in a Motorhead CD and went on his way.


End file.
